The Washington Postwants you to feel bad over starving immigrants because President Trump has them terrified of using food stamps. Of course, WaPo means ILLEGAL immigrants, but we've given up on expecting intellectual honesty from Fake News Media. But before we go too macro, please read the following. Pay close attention, there's a test at the end:

In the two months since President Trump’s inauguration, food banks and hunger advocates around the country have noted a decline in the number of eligible immigrants applying for SNAP — and an uptick in immigrants seeking to withdraw from the program.

Their fear, advocates say, is that participation could draw the eye of Immigration and Customs Enforcement or hurt their chances of attaining citizenship. Without federal nutrition benefits, many are resorting to food pantries and soup kitchens to feed themselves and their children.

Quick break in the action, because I just saw someone retweet this. On the left was the original headline. The right is the "We've filtered for our squishy liberal audience." Spot the difference?

One of these things is not like the other!

Ahem, back on topic...

The Department of Agriculture’s formal guidance for noncitizens, codified in a June 2011 document, says that there are no immigration consequences for legal immigrants who participate in SNAP. A spokesman for the department confirmed that this is still its official position.

I see, so LEGAL immigrants are in the clear. LEGAL immigrants can get food assistance without worrying the ICE man cometh to take them away. See what I did there? A little cultural reference for your St. Paddy's day O'celebration.

But because ILLEGAL ALIENS are worried that ICE might catapult their fannies over The Wall, because they're in the United States ILLEGALLY (typed with Trump inflection, by the way) these ILLEGALS we were told for years were "living in the shadows" but taking all the benefits from taxpayers, are now petrified of being deported (because again I say they're here ILLEGALLY), have stopped suckling at the government teet.

Remember how I said there would be a test at the end? Here it is. Prepare thyselves: How in God's name are fewer government mooches, here illegally, taking our stuff (illegally) a bad thing? WaPo is making this story sound like the zombie apocalypse, without Shane rubbing his head or Rick saying stupid shit. But all I can do is...

There's one of two things at play here. The first is the obvious one, that people who are here illegally are the ones afraid. A leftist newspaper owned by Mr. Amazon, is glossing over this little tidbitlet (that's smaller than a tidbit, just FYI). The other issue is LEGAL immigrants are afraid... because leftists have been LYING about Trump wanting to deport all immigrants. It's hard to blame them for the misunderstanding, considering how the left has conflated the two since Hillary donned the first pantsuit.

Lastly, I'd like to kind of apologize for the CAPS LOCK phrases. But until the internet will allow me to scream at liberals without yelling at the rest of you beautiful people, I must stamp hard on the shift key to get my rage on.

I feel like talking about The Wall now. Capitalized henceforth.

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