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It’s Saturday afternoon. The cartoons are over.

You’re in the basement with the shag carpeting and wood paneling with your best friend and after an intense Crossfire bout that left you both winded, it’s time to cool down and watch a movie.

Maybe the Apple Dumpling Gang.

Or Pete’s Dragon.

You’re definitely not watching Old Yeller again because, fool me once…

What about Davy Crockett?

Wait, you know what Mom got from the library earlier this week?

Tall Tale. You haven’t seen that one yet.

Disney has a history with Westerns. And it makes sense, doesn’t it? Walt Disney was one of the biggest American innovators of entertainment. To belabor the metaphor, he forged a new frontier, practically defining the “family-friendly” genre. He’s the man who brought animation to the feature film industry.

Walt Disney’s love for America and American history can be seen in his dedication to Frontierland.

Well, Walt’s dead and so is his dream.

According to Inside The Magic, Disney World will be “retheming” Frontierland.

Not to be Orwellian or anything, but the word “retheme” sounds awful and I don’t want to ever hear it again.

Last September, Country Bear Jamboree closed for a retheme (thanks, I hate it) into Country Bear Musical Jamboree. The changes include new music inspired by Opry-style shows and written by current Nashville artists, including genres of bluegrass, pop-country, Americana and rockabilly. They are adding Disney songs. They bears will get new outfits. And Liver Lips McGrowl will be renamed Romeo McGrowl.

Despite growing up in the golden era of Chuckie Cheese, (Charles Entertainment, to those who aren't friendly with him) I’ve never had much of an affinity for the singing/dancing/instrument-playing pelted animatronic. I supposed updates are necessary from time to time, if just to keep the gears greased.

And let’s not forget that Splash Mountain, the most popular ride in Disneyworld, was closed for retheming (*throws up in mouth*) in 2023, reconstructed into Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, because Splash Mountain was based on "Song of the South" and that’s a racism.

Tiana’s Bayou Adventure opened in summer 2024.

Then it closed.

Then it opened again.

No, wait, it’s closed.

Okay, it’s back.

Never mind.

Walt Disney is cackling with glee from his mini-fridge.

It gets worse.

During D23 Expo (it’s like Comic-Con, for Disney), the Walt Disney Company announced new rides and attractions, including two new rides based on the Disney/Pixar movie “Cars.” The crowd loved it. After the celebration was over, the Disney execs quietly mumbled, “And we’ll be taking out Frontierland to do it,” but alas, no one heard and now here we are, as Walt’s dream burns to the ground while current Disney execs piss on the ashes.

The plot of the movie “Cars” is about a flashy modern race car at the top of his game getting off track on his way across the country. He tears into a failing town on the now-desolate Route 66 and learns to respect the old, the rusty, the beaten-down, a different perspective that isn’t flashy and modern, history vs. progress…

God, I am dripping with irony right now. Give me a minute.

Okay, I’m back. Where was I?

Oh, right. The plot of Cars. Yeah. It's like nobody learned their lesson.

Contrary to the impression this article may have given you, I’m not against adding new attractions to Disneyworld. I imagine as movies and IP’s fade from memory, the rides become less popular. A little change might be necessary. But, it seems like the beauty of Disney would be expansion over replacement. When you take your kids to Disneyworld, you get to participate in the new while sharing the old with them.

Then again, Splash Mountain was the most popular ride before they changed it, despite the fact that it's harder to find all six Infinity Stones, the Death Star plans, and Davy Jones' heart than a copy of Song of the South. Big Thunder Mountain and the Matterhorn are not specifically connected to any Disney IP. The Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean were rides before they were movies.

Let's...not talk about Jungle Cruise.

Somehow, Disney was able to create a new Star Wars land without deleting or (*hurk*) retheming anything. As a matter of fact, look at Pirates of the Caribbean as an example. Instead of coming in and changing the thing entirely, they just hired Johnny Depp to hang out in there sometimes and throw things at people. It was a fun way to integrate an update rather than completely redesign it.

Let’s be sure to dwell on this final point, though.

They are replacing Frontierland. They are deleting Americana. They are erasing the past, literally, figuratively, metaphorically, and, for some reason, I can’t help but feel that the Walt Disney Company is declaring there are no new frontiers to conquer.

Sit back and enjoy your churros, kids. For tomorrow we die.

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Kate works in production at LwC. She is an author. When she isn’t writing...who are we kidding? She’s always writing. You can find her here on X.