Back in December, NYC made it illegal to call people by the "wrong" gender pronoun if the person claims to be transgender. By "wrong," I mean literally anything that the person says is wrong. If you call a man "he" when he claims to be a woman, congratulations you just broke the law. You know, because it's New York City. You can't defend yourself with a firearm, consume sugar or salt, and can get in major trouble over pronouns. I say we all move there.

The Commission on Human Rights just released legal guidance on the pronoun issue, and apparently not only is it illegal, you could be fined up to $250,000 if you're found to have willfully "misgendered someone." But wait, that's not all...

These penalties are in addition to the other remedies available to people who successfully resolve or prevail on claims under the NYCHRL, including, but not limited to, back and front pay, along with other compensatory and punitive damages. The Commission may consider the lack of an adequate anti-discrimination policy as a factor in determining liability, assessing damages, and mandating certain affirmative remedies.

All for calling a he a he if they claim to be a she, or whatever a ze or hir is. I know I've brought this up numerous times with the transgender issue, but seriously. The Emperor has no clothes. And...

Eugene Volokh points out just how extreme this measure is...

"We can’t be required to even display a license plate that says ‘Live Free or Die’ on our car, if we object to the message; that’s what the court held in Wooley v. Maynard (1978), but New York is requiring people to actually say words that convey a message of approval of the view that gender is a matter of self-perception rather than anatomy."

Eugene is right, but used too many big words there. Lemme help: New York City is mandating you endorse delusion. As in make-believe. As in a lie. As in "neener-neener you have a weiner. But I'll call you a she anyway because this city is crazy." Here's my question, what if people who disagree with the law start getting death threats? That's probably just social justice, but I figure it's a worthy question to ask. Also, who's to say the person being fined wants to identify as something else. Say a cat. Therefore if you "misgender" someone, can't you claim you didn't know because you identify as a cat? Or a hamburger? RELATED: Watch This Swedish Reporter Systematically Destroy Transgenderism.

I'm not sure I can dole out advice to people, but two can play this game. If New York wants to fine John Jacob for saying "he" when a ninnymuggin wants to be identified as "she" then can't John Jacob tell someone: "You can't fine John Jacob. I'm Princess Persimmon"?

Also, I hate to bring up the whole "New York Values" thing that ran rampant during the primary campaign, but not really. This is a classic New York City value. The delusion of the few is more important than the free speech of everyone else. But hey, thanks for setting the record straight. Or gay. Or... oh crap, who knows anymore.

Speaking of confusion, here's an old ugly dude who wants to be a little girl. Call him an ugly old dude in New York and you'll have to pay up. You bigot.

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