Prepare thy butts for a raping, people. Tax Day is upon us once again. If you're the procrastinating type who has yet to part with your greenbacks, I've got a bit of bad news for you. The IRS payment site crashed this morning. No worries though, the site promises it will be back up in about seven thousand years:

The Internal Revenue Service was blighted with a major website outage as taxpayers rushed to settle up with Uncle Sam at the last minute.

The web page for the IRS’ “Direct Pay” option came crashing down Tuesday, leaving many irate taxpayers furious with the government website.

The page offered conflicting messages on when service would be restored — warning in red bold letters that it would be down until Dec. 31, 9999.

Another line indicated it would be down until “Thursday September 22, 2016, due to planned maintenance.”

An earlier line — later scrubbed — signaled taxpayers would still have to find a way to pony up.

Not surprisingly, Uncle Sam can't even jack our ducats without screwing it up.

It's good to know they're using our skrilla wisely. Us taxpayers could have been selfish and used that hefty sum of skrilla to pay off bills or to tuck away in our savings. Instead, the government forces us to cough up the dolla-dolla-bills to go toward websites that never work when you need them. Hardly money well-spent. Yet, we're all supposed to keep our traps shut and play along.

This ironic occurrence only underlines non-leftists' belief of tax dollars being better off in our pockets. As opposed to the government blowing it on South American clown colleges and lesbian pudge studies. With Trump's tax cuts taking effect next year, that will be a little bit closer to reality.

Until then, good luck trying to avoid those late fees. Spread your butt cheeks wide.

Speaking of taxes:

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