I tend not to do the whole "what if Trump did it" thing. But, please take the trip with me. Imagine CNN if President Trump wandered off while his wife was talking. Imagine MSNBC if Trump didn't realize where he was or that the mic was live. Imagine late-night comedy if Trump read stage directions out loud like a dementia-ridden Ron Burgandy. Now, imagine Trump did ALL THOSE THINGS, and then missed his introduction to light the Christmas tree for two awkward minutes.

If I were LL Cool J, I'd do an impromptu "I'm Bad" freestyle called "I'm a Bad President." I'd then fire my agent.

Independent "fact" checkers haven't shared Biden's excuse for being late. But if I were to guess, it went something like this.

JILL BIDEN: Joey, did you remember to go #2 before you came out here? We don't want another Vatican incident.

OUR PRESIDENT WHO GOT 81,000,000 VOTES: Yes.

JILL BIDEN: Are you lying to me?

OUR PRESIDENT WHO GOT 81,000,000 VOTES: No.

JILL BIDEN: ...are you going to the bathroom now?

OUR PRESIDENT WHO GOT 81,000,000 VOTES: ...yes.

I shouldn't complain. When you train your brain to ignore the fact this man has the nuclear codes, you realize his puddingheadedingness moments are all for the content. Still, you have to be a real nincompoop to not be able to follow basic stage directions. The people who control Biden are serving him poorly.

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Snopes: Fact-Checked by YOU! | Louder With Crowderyoutu.be