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I'm convinced someone who works for Joe Biden and hates Joe Biden has a roommate who works for Axios. Or are they trying to get in an Axios reporter's pants and don't realize they've been friendzoned. Whenever there is a new protocol in place to prevent Biden from looking like a decrepit pile of bones and tapioca, Axios gets the scoop. The latest is a new routine for Joe: walking to and from Marine One with friends.

You all know the shuffle, what Axios calls his "halting and stiff gait." It's what the rest of us call his old man waddle. The walk where he doesn't know what to do with his arms, looks like he's focused on remembering it goes left foot then right foot, and is clenched as if what's left of his brain keeps alternating between "don't fall" and "don't poop."

Operation: There Goes Grandpa works like this:

Instead of walking across the South Lawn to and from Marine One by himself, he's now often surrounded by aides.

Some Biden advisers have told Axios they're concerned that videos of Biden walking and shuffling alone — especially across the grass — have highlighted his age.

Here are the new protocols in action. In natural, not at all awkward, not at all managing to make Biden look worse, action.

The new protocols are already failing. Pre-Operation: There Goes Grandpa, he looked like he was walking with whatever the opposite of vigor is. Now they catch him walking by himself, realizing how happy it's making the @RNCResearch X-Twitter account, and sending in extras to make Biden look less awkward. Instead, it makes him look more awkward.

These are the same people who devised Operation: Gravity Is Transphobic, to prevent Biden from falling down over and over. That, too, was leaked to Axios.

Some senior Democrats privately have been frustrated with Biden's advance team for months, noting that the president often appears not to know which direction to go after he speaks at a podium. Often without context, Republicans have used video clips of Biden looking confused about where to go after speeches to raise further questions about his age.

The context is "Joe Biden is in public." That's the context.

All that is left for Biden's handlers is Operation: Golden Girls. It's where they lock Biden in the basement with all seven seasons of "Golden Girls." Even that one season of "Golden Palace." Anything to keep him away from where people might see him.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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