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You might as well cancel the Fourth of July. Joey Chestnut, who until yesterday was America's greatest living athlete (I guess it's Caitlyn Clark now), will NOT be competing in Nathans's annual hotdog eating contest. The 16-time world champion—that's more than Michael Jordan and Tom Brady combined—has been banned from competing after he signed with a VEGAN "meat" brand. Proving the old adage that you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villain.

According to the New York Post, Chestnut signed a deal with Impossible Foods. The company wants you to believe it is creating meat out of things that are not meat just so it can call it meat. Eating meat is bad for the climate, allegedly. Leftist after leftist after leftist wants it banned and your behavior controlled:

• Watch: Resurfaced clip shows "bioethicist" call for humans to be genetically modified to stop eating meat
• City becomes first to ban meat advertisements to better control your behavior
• Scientists Want Meat Labeled With ‘Cigarette-Style’ Warnings About Climate Change

So to "save the planet," Impossible Foods takes, among other things, Methylcellulose, Cultured Dextrose, Food Starch Modified, Soy Leghemoglobin, Mixed Tocopherols (Antioxidant), L-tryptophan, Soy Protein Isolate, Zinc Gluconate, Niacin, Thiamine Hydrochloride(Vitamin B1), and Pyridoxine Hydrochloride (Vitamin B6), mixes it all together and sends it to stores claiming that it's "meat."

Major League Eating (MLE), the governing body that regulates the sport of competitive eating, says in a statement that they bent over backward trying to work something out with Team Chestnut. “For nearly two decades we have worked under the same basic hot dog exclusivity provisions. However, it seems that Joey and his managers have prioritized a new partnership with a different brand over our long-time relationship.”

In fairness to America's now-former greatest living athlete, Chestnut addressed the controversy on his Instagram page, saying he only found out about it from the news media. "I do not have a contract with MLE or Nathan's and they are looking to change the rules from past years as it relates to other partners I can work with. This is apparently the basis on which I’m being banned, and it doesn’t impact the July 4th contest."

Chestnut did not comment on selling out to a fake meat brand. He's gone from choking out animal rights activists during his stunning 2022 performance to taking their money and helping them spread harmful misinformation about what meat is. It's the most un-American thing to happen in 2024. Even worse than having your political opponent convicted of thirty-four bookkeeping errors.

In the words of one of this generation's greatest philosophers, Jersey Jerry, "It's a sad day. It's a bad day."

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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