If this isn't already an expression, I hereby make it one: I have a mind crush on John Stossel. The way his brain works, how he simply breaks down the straight dope, gives me all the right feelings. Like many of you, I've been wondering what the big deal is over the government shutting down since life has found a way to move on without it. John Stossel, being the intellectual stud he is, made our sentiments known with a short video. Do your thing, honey.

I'm all for just laying off everyone who's not working right now. You're clearly not as essential as you think you are. Which I know sounds callous but I frankly don't give a rat's tiny little poop pellets. My tax dollars, everyone's tax dollars, should be spent judiciously. Not to be confused with indiscriminate spending ala Jesse Pinkman at a strip club with Skinny Pete and Badger.

Don't tell me that reference went over your head, as you've likely been binge-watching your favorite shows while you've not been working at a non-essential job.

Notice also that when government employees aren't picking up the trash, private citizens step up. I've seen similar accounts on Instagram to the same effect. Private citizens are cool cats, and if they see a problem, they fix it. Big government is about as useful as a third male nipple. Which you'll know is called a "nubbin" as you've likely binge-watched Friends during your work siesta.

The longer the government shutdown drags on, the more people will see how non-essential big government is. Ball's in your court, Democrats.

For more Stossel McNuggets: WATCH: John Stossel Exposes a Government Built Bathroom. Which Cost 2 Million Dollars, John Stossel Hosts Affirmative Action Bake Sale. Minorities Cry "Racism!"

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