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ComedyDecember 18, 2020
JP Sears Reveals Six Parenting Virtues Guaranteed to Raise Weak and Spineless Kids
Congratulations are in order for JP Sears. My personal life coach welcomed his first son into the world. He picked a perfect year to sire a son, too! JP has had the entire pandemic quarantined in his home to ponder parenthood, taking what he's learned from "science" and "experts." Sears has developed what he calls six parenting virtues. Those of you who want to make sure your kids grow up weak and spineless and sheeplike should listen up. JP shares his teaching in the following video. As a certified expert, he knows how much parents appreciate new parents' parenting advice. Almost as much as they appreciate the advice from non-breeders such as myself.
How To Raise Weak Children During Lockdownswww.youtube.com
When you see politicians not obeying their own draconian rules that they made up for your protection, but then you continue obeying their rules, you're teaching your child how to be spineless. Because you're being spineless in front of them. And they can see it!
This is of course all a work of satire. But, you know. When Facebook's "fact" "checkers" check facts, they have a habit of missing the COMEDY tag at the top of the page. The only thing not tongue-in-cheek is my congratulations on the newborn. Also, mocking people being as scared sheep does not equal dismissing reasonable precautions. Emphasis on REASONABLE.
But satire works best taking a kernel of truth and blowing it out of proportion to its hysterical conclusion. The kernel of truth is those who UNREASONABLY live a life of fear. The hysterical conclusion is the message they're sending their children. Though I'm not sure hysterical is the right word.
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