Intelligence tests are not required for famous people to be famous. So we were not surprised to see parades of stupid after Manchester bombing (see ISIS Claims Credit for Manchester Attack. Leftists Worry About... Islamophobia and SAY WHAT?! BBC's Katty Kay on Manchester: 'Europe has to get used to this...'). But Katy Perry. She really brought her A-game in leading the stupid parade, complete with ditzy baton-twirling...

Besides like all the weird stuff that goes around the Internet, which is, y’know, sometimes a great place but an absolute, y’know, underbelly mob-pit of horribleness, I think, like, the greatest thing we can do now is just unite as people, as like, fan bases, all of it, y’know? Cause I think, like, there, like, as much, y’know, whatever we say behind people’s backs, cause the Internet can be a little bit ruthless as far as fan bases go but I think that the greatest thing we can do is just unite and love on each other and like, no barriers, no borders, like we all need to just co-exist.

I walk back zero my initial statements of Perry being two braincells richer than a banana. So much money. So few thoughts...

Okay, to the meat of what Katy was maybe saying. "Meat" is an overstatement. It's like a veggie burger taken out of the freezer. You thought you would eat it, because some holier-than-thou vegan you still haven't edited out of your life, told you to. But instead it just sits in the fridge. Oozing. Growing mold. Becoming something foreign. That's Katy Perry's noggin.

Katy-kins thinks we should all coexist? She's taking her political cues from a bumpersticker on a 2005 Prius in the Whole Foods parking lot. Lay off the kombucha for a spell, sweet cheeks.

I have a few questions. Because what Katy here neglected to mention was Islam. Actually that's not fair. Katy neglected a lot more than Islam, but we have to be sensitive to the functionally retarded. Wait. I walk that one back. Comparing Perry to the functionally retarded does the functionally retarded a disservice. My apologies to the mentally challenged community. I prostrate myself before you.

But Katy, get a crayon. Take some notes, sweetie. Should we co-exist with...

• a Methodist who thinks it's okay to marry a 6 year old?
• a Catholic who thinks it's okay to strike your wife for ANY reason?
• a Jew who believes in ANY kind of punishment for apostasy?
• a Mormon who believes in ANY kind of punishment for "blasphemy"?
• a Buddhist who throws gays off buildings?
• a Muslim who believes in traditional marriage?

That last one was a trick question. It's unfair because words are hard and stuff, y'know? Like, reading. What a bitch.

Coexisting is such a lovely motivational poster of different colored hands all forming a wreath. But in reality, some of those hands are actually stumps. Having pushed a button to blow up a suicide vest. Or they were caught in a blast from said vest's explosion. Multiculturalism.

See, coexisting sounds super cheery and kumbaya, and stuff, y'know, until you realize (that's when you have new thoughts about, like, stuff, Katy), some people do not want to coexist with us, they want to kill us. We cannot coexist with people who want to destroy our way of life. The way of life that makes women equal, allows the gays to play hide the sausage without judgement (but plenty of playful mockery). The same way of life that allows Katy Perry to utter unintelligible sounds into a mic. Later broadcasted for our entertainment.

But ah, how pretty the thought. If only that pesky reality wasn't such an intrusive world force.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.