We've talked about people claiming they were vicitms of a "hate crime" that turned out to be frauds (see LEAKED: The 911 Call That Exposed the Albany ‘Racist Hate Crime’ Hoax… and Gay Bar Owner Torched his Own Bar, Blamed it on Anti-Gay ‘Hate’). But this one has everything: a Toby Keith concert, a lesbian college professor, a "homophobic" redneck, and an assault where the alleged "homophobic" redneck attacked the lesbian in a parking lot, resulting in a black eye.

Except...

Turns out, Mari Poindexter got the shiner because she “punched herself in the eye,” according to local police.

Poindexter’s story began to unravel when police probed the incident. Investigators sat down with her to review security footage from the bar to identify the man, court documents say. Then, when the investigators informed Poindexter that there was also surveillance footage of the parking lot, she became anxious. She said she was no longer interested in viewing any video which might incriminate her assailant.

Hint to news fakers out there: honest victims want to see their attackers incriminated. Jot that down somewhere important. Practice in acting class. Here's the, please excuse the pun, punchline:

Poindexter made up the story and cold-cocked herself in her own right eye “because she wanted to raise awareness about the social hardships of people in the LGBTQ+ community,” according to court documents.

In other words...

M'kay. So here we have another example of a "hate crime" that wasn't. This broad went Tyler Durden on herself and held fast to the first and second rules of Fight Club. Which is why, obviously, she couldn't allow the police to see footage in the parking lot of her clocking her own face to raise awareness about lesbians who beat themselves. In order to blame men. Also, remember that feminists want you to know they don't hate men. Don't you dare try to draw any conclusions from this story with man-hating third wave feminism. Stop it. Better yet, go hit yourself. Hard.

We might also have to consider Poindexter may be experiencing a gender-identity crisis. Since lesbians do not look like the hot babes of TV, it could be this broad was a little drunk, saw herself in the mirror, noted the butch hair cut and thought, "Crap. There's a dude following me." She had no choice but to punch that bastard.

Here's the cause we really need to champion, starting with a black and blue ribbon to symbolize self-abuse: Lesbians Who Hate Their Ugly Faces And Want To Blame Men For Them. That might be too long. Let's try Harpies Who Hook Themselves. HWHT for short, since acronyms are so hot right now. Someone create a logo. #LesbianFacesDon'tMatterMuch

Okay, all punches aside, someone get this broad some psychiatric help. Stat.

Until then, this story is exactly why we have due process, investigations, and the presentation of evidence. It's why we should not ever let the Twitter jury decide cases. It's why facts matter more than the agenda you're supposedly pushing. Even if you're pushing it in your own  ugly face.

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