Remember the good old days where lesbians were an entertaining segment on the Howard Stern show? Me neither. Frankly I'm not sure if lesbians, as a group, we're in any way "comical." Not that there's anything wrong with that. Well, the story of today follows the same line of non-funny. In fact one might say it's tragically unfunny. The adverb usage signals the gravity of the situation.

BuzzFeed has a story of lesbian mommies teaching their son about gay relationships, gender norms, and how Sesame Street is oppressive. I crap you not. Here's a time-stamped video to get to the relevant info.

If you had to turn off the video because you're intolerant about to puke, here's the guts of the problem:

“He’s taking in kind of kid media. And he has this great book that’s like, just pictures and words. But when you open it up, it’s like, a picture of a girl and a picture of a boy, and it’s like, ‘Girl,’ ‘Boy,’ and I’m just like, ‘Child,’ ‘Child.’”

“This is where he starts learning what things are. And so I hate the idea that he’s getting it imprinted on him that people who look like this are boys, and people who look like that are girls.”

“And even something that’s like Progressive like ‘Sesame Street,’ all the monsters are boys unless they have like a bow in their hair or a sparkly necklace on. Like, why is ‘Old McDonald’ a guy? Why couldn’t it be a lesbian farmer?”

Because men and women, that's why Old McDonald is a dude. Men. Women. Men and women together and getting it on? Babies. Also known as sexual reproduction. Also known as biology.

And no, we do not need to "reconsider how to present gender people to their children." If you don't mind, I think most of us can stick with the basics.

Basics

But did you notice something funny about the lesbians? No, not a comical funny, an ironic funny. There they sit, preaching about how gender is fluid, or whatever kind of hippy drum circle mantra they uttered from their facial apertures, but one of them intentionally looks like a dude. She says she was a tomboy growing up. So she's embraced male style. She's taken on the daddy gender role.

Or was that the intention? You know how hard it is to keep up with all this gender crap? It's like I need notes.

Oh right. These little reminders are helpful.

The disturbing thing here is what will happen to little Atticus. Who is, by all accounts, adorable. Seriously, I want to nibble his little toes. But he's been set up with two women who are going to confuse the crap out of him. While scooping up the Care Points. He's a little boy without a daddy. You can call me a judgemental shrew all day long. That little boy needed sperm to be conceived. All children are brought into the world with DNA from a mother and a father. Because children need both. Yet, we're at a time where it's "hate speech" for me to write such things.

Meanwhile, these two lesbians are being praised by the likes of BuzzFeed (probably the lesbian equivalent of mecca) for how open-minded, tolerant, kind and loving they are. And yes, they do love their son. Again I say, total explosion of cute. But he won't always be. He'll grow up into a man. With some pretty confusing ideas. That's why this is so troubling.

Because like the mother who was telling her daughter about "daddy is a woman now" one day this boy will grow up and have to face a world filled with biological certainties. That is, men are men, women are women. No, none of that is hate-speech. Females. Males. How is this hard? Little Atticus will have to relearn basics. He'll have to come to sad realization his two mommies are not his real parents. Only one of them is. Little Atticus will be curious about his father (he has one). All the while realizing his mommies have been selling him a bag of sex toys and calling it progress.

But you and me for pointing it out? We're the real villains here.

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