By this point none of us are shocked when we hear of Islamic crapstorms in Europe. For obvious reasons, like their open borders and "tolerance" (see European Union Plans to Fine Countries... For Refusing Refugees and WATCH: Terrorist LAUGHS at Spanish Police Before Being Gunned Down). But this story, while terrible, has an epic twist.

A crazed man thought he'd break into a preschool to do some Allahu Akbaring. Typical #ModerateMuslim stuff. Turns out he picked the wrong school:

A hero caretaker took down a man who broke into a school and threatened to slaughter the children 'like lambs.'

Witnesses told police the 46-year-old was carrying a bottle, first thought to contain poison, and was shouting 'Allahu Akbar.'

He caused panic after managing to get into a classroom full of three-year-olds at the school in Madrid.

The ugly incident happened just after 9am last Friday at state school Gonzalo Fernandez de Cordoba in Madrid's popular La Latina neighborhood.

He was arrested for breaking and entering, criminal damage and threats.

A police spokesman said: "He was shouting to Allah and threatening to harm the children." A source added: "No-one was injured but it was obviously a very frightening episode for the school."

Thankfully these children had a badass Spaniard in their presence to protect them from the wrath of Allah. Not all of Europe is so lucky (see Van Mows Down Pedestrians in Barcelona Terrorist Attack, Takes People Hostage...).

The Spanish police apparently ended up referring to the attacker as a "mentally disturbed madman." And while the description may be true, let's not ignore the giant, hijabed elephant in the room. A man tries to slaughter people while shouting Allahu Akbar. Sounds like the same standard, terroristy story we keep seeing play out over and over again. Time to call a suicide-vested spade a suicide-vested spade.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.