I feel like dating in contemporary culture is a minefield. It’s impossible to talk to people because you never know what kind of speech is going to be “violence,” God forbid you accidentally call someone by the wrong pronouns! But then there’s the risk of getting catfished online. But now, it’s a literal game of life and death!

The New York Post reports that one man clicked on the wrong profile this time when he connected with 22-year-old Valerie Rosario, a member of a group of sadists who was less interested in making whoopie and more interested in making a few bucks while whooping him half-to-death!

After chatting with Rosario, this poor bastard was lured to an apartment in the Bronx, but after entering, “[t]hree men barged into the apartment, with one of them pistol-whipping" him before Rosario and her three goons stripped him down, tossed him in a bathtub, and proceeded to burn, cut, and beat him.

After spending some time torturing the man, the sadists made a FaceTime call to his brother during which they told him, “Give us one hundred thousand dollars or we will kill him.”

Luckily, one of the assailants was identified later as he sat in a van in Queens. The victim was found in the back of the van, “unconscious, wrapped in a blanket with tape covering his mouth.”

Rosario’s defense attorney asked for her to be released on her own recognizance, and history would tell us that a judge in New York would be more than happy to grant it, but in a surprising move, the judge ordered Rosario to remain in custody pending her trial.

I already have a mistrust of online dating, but stories like this one and the crazy woman who tried to kill a guy in Las Vegas out of some weird revenge plot definitely make it even worse. I’m okay remaining single.

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