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cringeJuly 29, 2023
Man spends tens of thousands to turn himself into a border collie... and for the love of God, there's video
A Japanese man who has, and I quote, "always had a dream of being a dog," fulfilled that dream and spent $22,000 to become a border collie. And I know what many of you are thinking. "Brodigan, June was just last month. We know people like to dress up like dogs." No, no, no. I'm not talking about someone who dresses up in fetish gear and parades around little children.
I mean someone paid 20 grand for a lifelike dog costume, so he can live among other dogs. Meet Toco the (sigh) human border collie.
Toco’s grand debut — which was captured while he was filming a segment for a German TV station — seemed to be well-received by passers-by and other dogs, who appeared curious. It wasn’t clear whether they realised Toco wasn’t a natural-born dog.
This was Toco's first time in public engaging with other dogs. Where -- Toco -- walked on all fours, rolled around, and sniffed other dogs' butts. It is unclear if the other dogs knew Toco was not a real dog or not as they were sniffing each other's anuses. Real dogs don't speak people language like Japanese or English. Toco knows how to, but doesn't... since he wants to be a dog.
The captions in this video are said to have been translated from handwritten notes before Toco went full canine: "I got to fulfill my dream of being a dog and walking outside! Hello, my name is Toco. My dream of being an animal since a little child came true when I became a collie! I'm going to enjoy the doggie life right here in this house!
【着ぐるみ】犬になって外をお散歩してみた!www.youtube.com
We at the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website were hoping to find a pre-transition photo of Toco, but both the man and the dog like to keep their private lives private.
I don’t want my hobbies to be known, especially by the people I work with. They think it’s weird that I want to be a dog. For the same reason why I can’t show my real face. I rarely tell my friends because I am afraid they will think I am weird.
But you know something? Shout out to Toco's parents. Or, I guess Toco's humans. They made Toco wait until he was an adult before he transformed himself into a dog. There are American parents who would have sent Toco to obedience school when he was five years old. And Democrats who would have taken Toco away from his parents if they didn't. You could get arrested for not using woof/ruff pronouns.
I find myself left with one question. Okay, a LOT of questions. Many I don't want answers to. But will Toco ever find true love? And if he does... ewwww, gross.
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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