After the schlacking the right took on Election Day, I figured we could all use a good laugh. Not that sexual harassment is ever "funny" funny, but when it involves Mariah Carey and the accuser is her bodyguard?

Seriously, I needed this today.

Mariah Carey's former security company has threatened to sue her ... and the guy who owns the company says she constantly humiliated him by referring to him as a Nazi, a skinhead, a KKK member and a white supremacist.

So Mariah could be Antifa or at least a sympathizer. Cool.

Michael Anello's lawyer has prepared a draft of a lawsuit, claiming his company worked for Mariah from June 2015 to May 2017 and got stiffed on the balance to the tune of $221,329.51. Anello claims he was promised another 2 years which would add $511,000 to the tab.

Ok, but I don't see the sexual--

The draft lawsuit also makes allegations of sexual harassment, claiming she committed "sexual acts with the intent that they be viewed by Anello." Anello claims during a trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mariah asked him to come to her room to move some luggage and when he got there, she was wearing a see-through negligee that was open. He says he tried leaving but she insisted he move the luggage.

Ok, there it is.

He says he left the room and there was no physical contact.

I'm using this gif for purely sexist reasons.

What I find most amusing about this, other than what a trainwreck Mariah Carey is? I'm torn between two ideas. The first: the case maybe a feeble attempt at a shakedown. You would have to assume retirement here, because who would hire a security company that would admit to being sexually harassed by Mariah Carey? Not that it didn't happen, mind you. Just... if she showed him her boobs? Can you fill in the rest?

Second thought: this case reeks somewhat of a publicity stunt for a new season of "Mariah's World." It needs all the publicity stuntage it can get.

Bonus thought: women can sexually harass men, too. Equality.

However this case is sliced, the story will sustain me throughout the day. Boobs being what they are.

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