Until there's a movement for "smoke positivity" the "fat positive" movement will never heave itself off the rock on which it's beached. Struggling to waddle itself to the nearest ocean to make less of a splash, more a tsunami.

Trigger-warning: weight jokes. You saw the ride and bought the ticket. It's not my fault if the coaster can't scale the first summit.

In yet another effort to make fat beauty a thing, a Canadian woman is skipping about and letting it all hang, hoping to inspire other women to love themselves just the way they are. Which is actually embracing apathy. From the Daily Mail:

A self-styled 'plus-size activist' is urging overweight women to embrace their figures in a bid to reclaim the word 'fat' as positive.

Julianna Mazzei who calls herself 'Jewelz', has no qualms about posing with little clothing and talking to her thousands of social media followers about 'fat problems.'

The 25-year-old from Toronto, who hasn't stepped on the scales in years and refuses to lose weight, said: 'I feel sexy in my body and I feel like everybody should.'

Imagine if you will, a smoker saying something similar about her lungs. "My lungs feel so sexy with all this smoke, and I feel like every smoker's lungs should." How would we react? The American Cancer Society would be apoplectic. HuffPo would pen tomes railing against "the glamorization of smoking." Celebrities with more capacity to type than to think, would parrot each other with the same hashtag #SmokingNotSexy.

But a woman glamorizing her fat rolls, and suddenly she's heralded a hero of a movement.

'When people are making snarky comments about you behind your back or under their breath it's harder to stand up for yourself and say what needs to be said, that's one of the reasons why I got my "F*** Your Beauty Standards" tattooed.

I'm tempted to take a smoking cigarette and pose in a bikini. Maybe in Princess Leia's gold bikini. I could say "F*** Your Health Standards" as an experiment. See what would happen.

We don't actually need to see what would happen, we know. Cigarette companies get raked over their own ash trays for daring to glamorize an unhealthy habit.

So why should we celebrate obesity?

See, what Jewelz and her trundling sisterhood are failing to understand is their fat bodies are unhealthy. Hence the natural disgust some people share, either openly or secretly, aloud or unspoken. Is it rude to point at a fat person and publicly shame them? Of course. I don't walk about town and ridicule fat people because they're fat. I don't think anyone else should, either. I don't scold smokers either.

The issue I, and others, have with the so-called "fat pride" movement is the constant bullying campaign they engage in: find us beautiful, or else. WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE TERRIBLE FOR NOT AGREEING! F*CK YOUR STANDARDS. It's a public campaign, and the public isn't buying it.

Hence our pushback. If you want to be fat, be fat. If you want to smoke, smoke. But don't come crying to the rest of the world when we don't laud you as the new champions of beauty.

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