We can fix taxes in two simple ways: move the elections near tax day, end tax withholding. Yeah, you need to write the check to these sanctimonious daemons. May I suggest a sort of limerick in the memo section: "Earmark dollars three, so perverts like Eric Massa can walk free." Because you, the taxpaying lout reading this post (we're all taxpaying louts, take a joke), helped payoff victims of Congressman Eric Massa:

The Congressional Office of Compliance secretly paid close to $100,000 in taxpayer funds to settle sexual harassment claims from at least two young male staffers who worked for disgraced former Congressman Eric Massa, multiple sources with direct knowledge of the matter told ABC News.

The claims were settled after Massa, a Democrat from upstate New York, resigned in 2010 amid a pending ethics investigation into allegations he groped and sexually harassed members of his staff.

Massa grabbed at fruit from the forbidden phallic tree. He wanted a little morning sausage with his soft-boiled eggs. That's a lazy reference to his flaccid ball sack, by the way. With all the groping and penis sharing of late, I'm running dry on the tallywhacker home front. Sorry.

The staffers, wanting to keep their dingles and buttocks to themselves thanks (greedy dick capitalists), complained. Massa resigned before his constituents could point and shame him, and an "ethics" committee could slap him on the limp wrist. And you paid out. From the taxpayer funded slush fund we covered here. America.

At least this guy resigned. Groper and wet-kiss stealer Al Franken is hanging tighter than a stalking creep. John Conyers, who has support from the Congressional Black Caucus, isn't resigning. He's just not running for re-election. Meanwhile, creeps in the private sector like Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein and Brett Ratner, are losing their jobs.

Seems a double standard is afoot in the perverted halls of DC, no? Watch Kathleen Rice Calls Out Washington D.C.'s Double Standard on Sex Allegations.

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