Meryl Streep. I've already penned an open letter to the screech demon. So I'm going to just pen a quick rebuttal in lieu of doing part two: Meryl Streep: The Bitchening.

In case you've been living in a middle of a field, cut off from all humanity, your only connection to the digital world a second-hand Playstation 2, Meryl Streep was tight pals with Harvey Weinstein: Hollywood's Pudgiest Rapist (trademark pending). In her 30 or so years of acting, waltzing across the Oscar stage more frequently than nepotism, dear Meryl claims she "had no idea" Harvey Weinstein jizzed in front of ladies. Meryl says she "didn't know" her pal Harvey asked actresses to massage his member. In her 30 years as a mostly over-rated windbag, Meryl Streep, who had access to the highest rungs of Hollywood's hanging plants, had no idea Harvey preferred his with semen.

In an interview where she discussed Dustin Hoffman (another scummy Hollywood sleaze), Streep offered this about her pal Weinstein:

"I really didn’t know," she reiterated. "I did think he was having girlfriends. But when I heard rumors about actresses, I thought that that was a way of denigrating the actress and her ability to get the job. That really raised my hackles. I didn’t know that he was in any way abusing people. He never asked me to a hotel room. I don’t know how his life was conducted without people intimately knowing about it."

Clever. Offer you knew he was being a jerk (denigrating actresses), but insist you didn't know he was raping ladies, or otherwise abusing those gals who wouldn't acquiesce to his barbaric sex needs. Like going down on him for stardom.

Thing is, everyone knew:

• Video: Courtney Love Warned Us About Harvey Weinstein in 2005!
• Seth MacFarlane Knew About Harvey Weinstein, Fought Back with a Joke
• Does this '30 Rock' Video Prove Hollywood Know About Harvey Weinstein?

Now, I can buy that maybe Meryl didn't know all the sticky details. Sticky because of... you don't really need me to finish that sentence, do you? What I can't excuse is the wanton deflection away from herself by trying to somehow malign Melania Trump:

"I don’t want to hear about the silence of me," she continued. "I want to hear about the silence of Melania Trump. I want to hear from her. She has so much that’s valuable to say. And so does Ivanka. I want her to speak now."

I'm assuming this is somehow related to the "grab them by the p*ssy" comment. Or not. Hard to tell. But neither Melania nor Ivanka has any need to speak out against Donald Trump. As far as I'm aware, flawed though he is, has any woman accused Donald Trump of rape? Or masturbating in their presence? Forcing them to massage his orange member, which he refers to as "Frankly, Mini-Me"?

I'm sorry if that was too much detail. I was caught up in the moment.

Had Meryl not swiped at Melania and Ivanka in such a desperate attempt to divert attention from her prissy self, Meryl may have been in the clear with "I DIDN'T KNOW, I SWEAR IT ON THE PRECIOUS!" Alas. In attempting to bring down the First Lady, Meryl all but cemented her guilt.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Tis Shakespeare, Meryl. Google it.

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