‘Tis the season to treat yourself with a little gift. Maybe a stylish new tinfoil hat. I’ve already been fitted for mine, and you might want to be, too, after this one. The Blaze reports, a Swedish company called Epicenter, based in Stockholm—how apropos—has specialized in making implantable microchips for years and is now marketing them as a method for storing your COVID-19 passport.

A video posted to Twitter by the South China Morning Post celebrates the development of the implantable passport.

"Implants are very versatile technology that can be used for many different things, and right now it is very convenient to have COVID passport always accessible on your implant."

That’s Hannes Sjoblad, the companies Chief Disruption Officer. I don’t care how convenient it is, the idea of injecting a chip into my body gives me the willies. But I also find the use of COVID-19 passports completely unnecessary. Furthermore, it doesn’t seem like they do anything to slow the spread of COVID.

Australia instated its “Freedom Pass” months ago, requiring all citizens to provide proof of vaccination and, presumably, boosters just so they can have the freedom to move about. And even with this measure, a Taylor Swift-themed party just became a super spreader event. Either these people weren’t forced to have their “Freedom Passes” or the stupid things do nothing. And when they fail to do what the government wants them to do, they just throw people into gulags anyway.

The only way they’re getting one of those chips into me is if I’m already a corpse.

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