The economy is doing well, albeit with an "unpopular" president. Depending on who you ask. The midterm elections could go either way. Though, history favors the party not in power. Which, this time around is the Democrats. Perfect timing for the left to introduce a big issue to rile up the electorate. Like plastic straws (see Seattle Becomes First City to Ban Plastic Drinking Straws, Utensils and California Proposes Bill Punishing Waitstaff for Giving Customers Plastic Straws). As a former political consultant, I always advised candidates to engage in campaigns designed to test the human limits of dangerous eye-rolling.

Hold up, that gif is relevant for context. Bear with me for a second.

Those of us who are not soy-based leftist douchecanoes have had too many giggles at the straw banners' expense. We make no apologies. Except I may need to visit the doctor due to self-restricted LOLs. Though leave it to Mike Rowe to post the pitch perfect meme.

This will trigger the left. While the rest of us are all like:

If you think the straw ban is silly now, wait until people start to pay attention in September.

Also, if you didn't want us making fun of you over straws, don't make people who use straws public enemy number one. Because, for those of you playing the home game, you can knowingly infect someone with HIV in California, but using a straw in your half-calf-decaf frapp will get you time in the pokey.

HEATHEN.

I, for one, cannot wait for the black market for straws. How much will rainbow bendy straws go for in, say, rainbow San Francisco? And will people trade full syringes of heroin for the now banned sucking device? Just sit with all the double entendres for a second. Then share your favorites in comment sections across this here world wide web.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.