Millennials tend to be soy-munching social-justice dunderheads with zero common sense. Ergo their love with soy. Freaks. They're a generation of Peter Pan pantywaists who refuse to grow up. Oh yeah, at least 1-in-5 are really into communists.

Nearly one in five millennials consider Joseph Stalin and Kim Jong Un “heroes,” according to a Thursday poll.

The poll demonstrated an increase in acceptance of socialism and communism among American millennials and was released by the Victims of Communism Memorial Fund.

Spoiler alert: this is why we mock you millennials. At least why we mock 1-in-5 of you. Also, when did we stop capitalizing "millennials"?

One-half of millennials and one-third of Americans would prefer to reside in a socialist or communist nation instead of a capitalist democracy, according to the poll.

Well crap, what's stopping them from moving? Venezuela is lovely this time of year. Pack your dog. In case you need a snack.

“One in five (23%) of Americans age 21-29 consider Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin a ‘hero’; 26% for Vladimir Lenin; 23% for Kim Jong Un,” the study notes. Furthermore, over one-fifth of millennials surveyed had a positive opinion of Karl Marx.

Well, foist the hammer and sickle comrades. It's a brave new world. Gulag visits and toilet paper shortages for all!

I know the inverse of that stat means 4-in-5 would still like to set Castro's pube-beard ablaze. But, 20% of millennials supporting communism? These are not promising numbers.

Venezuelans are eating their pets to stay alive. Kim has his nukes pointed at us, his pudgy, donut-glaze-stained finger on the button. Yet, those facts fly right over leftists' purple-haired, septum-pierced heads when they hear things like "free college."

Kill me.

These bonehead millennials' only knowledge of communists comes from a Che Guevara t-shirt. Leftists have romanticized starving to death communism and thrown words like "democratic" in the mix to make it seem more friendly. It's worked on 1-in-5 dumbasses.

They might fall for that commie trickery. The rest of us see communism for the big ball of suck that it is. They can call it "democratic" all they want. We're not falling for it.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.