From the creators of "You didn't build that," comes a new, robotic, bobble-eyed feature presentation. Nancy Pelosi and The Secret Government iPhone Connection. Don't hang up, the NSA will find you.

Sure, borderline functionally retarded Nancy Pelosi usually only knows or says what her handlers program her to say (see exhibit Q, for example) the night before. But this must have been a prank. Or a virus in her programming. They have her saying the government is responsible for the iPhone. Not Apple or Steve Jobs. Politicians and bureaucrats. Cheers to the Free Beacon for grabbing this...

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D., Calif.) claimed Thursday that the federal government created the iPhone rather than the technology company Apple or its former chief executive officer, Steve Jobs.

“Anybody here have a smartphone?” Pelosi asked an audience at a Democratic National Convention Platform hearing in Washington, D.C.

Pelosi then held up an iPhone for everyone to see, telling those in the room, “In this smartphone, almost everything came from federal investments in research.”

She then listed elements of the iPhone that various parts of the government have contributed to in certain ways.

“The list goes on and on. If you want to learn more, look at the Association for the Advancement of Science in America, and they have the full list,” Pelosi said. “They say Steve Jobs did a good idea designing it and putting it together. Federal research invented it.”

Excuse us.

Hang on, not done.

Really, grandma? The government created the iPhone? And you want this as part of the Democrat platform? Just so we're clear, the "Government created iPhone" platform will replace God, right?

If the government created the iPhone, it would cost twice as much, not work, and be the fault of people who have better phones when it fails.

In other words, no. The government had no part in the iPhone. You already knew that. This is simply the government, with its semi-insane spokesperson, attempting to nab credit for a brilliant device. The question isn't "How did the government contribute to the iPhone," the question is, "What did Apple have to do to get around the government in order to create the iPhone, then sell it to people who wanted it for a reasonable price." After those people pay income taxes. What sorts of government hurdles did Apple have to jump in order to make the iPhone happen? That's the real question for Loony Bird here.

The government creates nothing. The government takes. Taking things, dearest Nancy Pelosi, isn't creating things. I get it, sometimes your brain no worky. But the iPhone usually does. Which is how we know no part of it came from government. But nice try, sweet cheeks. Stick to the weather app, my lovely. Make sure the city is set to Crazytown. It'll be the one where it's always raining stupid.

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