It's getting harder to keep track of all the different feminist causes for women. There's body shaming, fat shaming, the nonexistent pay gap thing and growing super long pubic hair... well now it's just going topless in public. Because men can go topless in public. Therefore women should go topless. Because equality. Also boners.

That's right, women took to the streets of New York without shirts or bras. Their nipples were free. Their words, seriously. #FreeTheNipple is real. Welcome to Boobfest 2015. And really, there are worse things. Because I like boobs. And I generally like fests.

But it does beg the question, why can men go without a shirt and women can't? – Bro-tip: if you have giant manboobs, maybe you should cover them up– Is it the male patriarchy again? No, not really. It's actually because men and women are different. Yeah, yeah, sexism, blah, blah, I know. Men and women. Different. A woman's chest has breasts, and they're used best in feeding a child. Also, motor-boating. So give it a rest. Woman's breasts, therefore, are used in a sexual/reproductive function, where a man's nipples are decorative only. Decorative for what, jury's still out. It's kind of God's equivalent to letting angels toss tinsel on the tree. He wanted them to feel useful, but at the end of the day, it's not a pretty sight.

These same women parading around without shirts, nipples bouncing about, are the same women who insist we celebrate breast-feeding. Which, by the way, totally different than walking downtown with the knockers hanging out. Feeding a baby vs. causing a traffic accident... Not the same. But this point only goes to show that men and women are different (more sexism) and our bodies are used for different things. Sorry, ladies, men cannot feed babies with their man nipples. I know, I know, biology is so unfair.

Question: whatever happened to women not wanting to be objectified by men? Is that still on the feminist agenda? Or do all have to fake non-sexual arousal when we gaze upon bare breasts now? Sorry broads, reading a Naomi Wolf book doesn't change eons of evolutionary biology.

At the end of the day, I don't care if you show your breasts. I also don't care if you get mad when we all stop and stare at your bare breasts.

Equality, ain't it a bitch?