Sorry to polite vegans out there, but some of your brethren are misery personified. Maybe they're so miserable because, according to a new report from the UK, vegans are sickly. I'd say I'm surprised, but since adopting a high protein (from animals, not beans) diet, I rarely get sick. Anecdotal sure, but pass the bacon.

From the Scottish Sun:

[Vegans] were also three times more likely to visit the GP.

Vegans reportedly booking 2.6 appointments to see the doctor during the cold and flu season, compared to the national average of 0.7.

Two-thirds of vegans also admitted to taking more time off work due to illness in 2018 than in previous years.

The time taken off is not to engage in sporting activities, great debates, or seminars on how to win people over with nothing but charm and personality. Vegans just seem to get sicker more often than those who are not insufferable trollops eager to pass off their insufferableness as a higher plain of moral understanding.

Meanwhile half of meat eaters said they took the same amount of time off, and a third actually reckoned they took less time off in 2018.

The study of 1,000 office workers was part of the Fisherman’s Friend annual cold and flu survey.

Now to be fair, this study also examined the work habits of Millennials versus Boomers, and found Millennials took more time off. But how many of them are vegans, thinking about becoming vegans, or needed the extra holidays to get offended on Twitter? Let's be understanding here. Boomers struggle to use technology and are thus shielded from the triggers polluting the net. Millennials, especially vegan Millennials, suffer greatly due to microagressions, white privileges, and reality.

Look it vegans, we'll stop mocking you when it ceases to be fun. So never.

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