I can't even. I just... I can't even.

There's been a push for years to make Barbie dolls more "realistic." Nothing wrong with that-ish. Because it is anatomically impossible for a woman to have Barbie doll's figure. So we get it, revising Barbie is cool. Could help young girls have a healthier self image. Awesome.

But this... No.

Artist Nickolay Lamm had a great idea when he set out several years ago to produce a realistic line of Barbies known as Lammily dolls. The dolls were a hit and now a new accessory kit, the Period Party, has hit the shelves. Buying maxi pads just got plastic.

First of all, no.

Secondly, this is obviously invented by a male-gendered person, as no female in her right mind would ever refer to her period as a "party." Don't believe me? Go ahead. Ask a female on her period if she feels like she's having a party and see how that turns out for ya. Advice: stay at least two football fields away from her. Better yet, make it a phone call. From another country.

In making her period a "party," Lamm is setting up false expectations. There's no Midol included in the kit. Lammily dolls don't bloat. No ice packs. No overwhelming urge to overdose on chocolate and Ryan Gosling films.

But hey, the Lammily doll website lists this review of the Period Party package:

“While it’s a little funny at first to see doll-sized pads in a period party pack, it’s hard for me to argue with Nickolay’s reasoning. Menstruation is a real, unavoidable part of not just a woman’s life but a young girl’s life, and I can’t see any harm in helping foster conversation about how bodies really work.” – BabyCenter

Hey, BabyCenter. Newsflash. Girls who play with Barbie dolls (Lammily dolls in this case) are like 5 and 6. Tweens and teens who have menstrual cycles...not so much. Little girls don't need a Barbie who menstruates, kinda like how first graders don't need LGBTQAI education (yes that is the real, new acronym). What ever happened to letting kids be kids?!

Best part of the website though is this announcement,

Period Party ships in November for before Christmas & Hanukkah delivery.

Because what girl doesn't want to find a brand new shiny pack of sanitary pads waiting for her under the tree?

~Written by Krystal Heath and Courtney Kirchoff