New York City Mayor Eric Adams has unveiled a new plan to combat the city's rampant retail-theft problem. Like other progressive cities, NYC has an alarming number of people who go into stores and think they don't have to pay for stuff. And I know what you're thinking. "But Brodigan, that's because those cities stopped enforcing laws and let people steal. Wouldn't a new plan be to go back to enforcing laws?"

Two things. One, LOL you said "butt Brodigan." And B, you would think so, huh? Out here in Real America where you and I live, we have laws and DON'T have a rampant retail-theft problem. In New York City, they have new a plan to combat theirs. Or I should say "combat" in finger quotes.

Mayor Adams feels this new plan will tackle an issue that shows retail theft is up 44% and a third of suspects are repeat offenders.

Give first-time offender intervention programs instead of prosecution

Not prosecuting first-time offenders is how they become repeat offenders. You let them know they can get away with it, so they do.

De-escalation training for retail employees

It's unclear how you can de-escalate from currently doing nothing. Though I get a feeling a consultant will get paid a ludicrous amount of public tax dollars to tell us. Are the employees supposed to hold the bag as people shoplift?

Establish neighborhood retail watch groups to share theft info in real-time w/one another and NYPD.

I just... no.

This one is my favorite.

Install kiosks in stores to connect would-be thieves w/ social service programs

There are people working in your government who think if they set up computers in stores, someone who has the intention of stealing is going to see the computer, scroll through the information, and decide instead of continuing their criminal ways they are going to take the city up on their job training courses. Instead of the most likely outcome: stealing the kiosk too.

Our progressive cities are governed by nincompoops. Yet progressive voters keep reelecting them. It's a coin toss over who the biggest nincompoop is.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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