Do you ever wake up and think "Today I'm going to blow $400k on strippers"? No? That's because you don't work for the government. And you're not a class-a idiot. Pat yourself on the back back, next drink's on the lesbian sitting nearest you. Why, you ask? Because rather than refund you this past April 17th, the government decided to drop several hundred grand studying the drinking habits of that same lesbian you're sitting beside. Not to worry, government spends frivolously all the time. Studying the causes of lesbian pudge. Doling out millions of dollars in welfare for illegals. It seems they'll never turn down a chance to part ways with tax dollars.

We just learned they blew nearly half a million greenbacks studying why LGBTQ folks like to get wasted.

The National Institutes of Health is spending over $400,000 studying whether gender norms of masculinity and femininity lead LGBTQ individuals to drink too much.

Trying to find the "meanings of intoxication" of sexual and gender minorities is the central question of a study that was awarded in late July.

If I have a hypothesis, how much money do I get? I wanna buy a boat.

The project will "examine the extent to which gendered norms shape risky drinking practices for sexual and gender minority (SGM) young adults," according to the grant for the study.

"Alcohol has played a central role for SGM by facilitating exploration of sexuality and gender, coping with minority stress, trauma, and stigma and serving as an integral component of bars and clubs for SGM young adults," the grant states. "Given this central role, it is not surprising that problematic alcohol use, including heavy episodic drinking (HED) and intoxication, and alcohol-related problems are significant issues for SGM young adults."

Since when were she/hes and lovers of the sausage the only people who drink to excess? Believe it or not, straight guys like to get a little tipsy too. Don't believe me? Go to your local dive on a Friday night and bask in the ambiance of fifty drunk frat-bros, hopped up on Jager-bombs and trying to get lucky.

Did you also notice the political bent of the study? Men being men and girls being girls depress fancy lads and transformers. So, they pop on down to their local gay-centric pub for a drink or two. Translated into non-leftist-speak: evil cis-hetero males are so mean with their biological gender traits, they drive lovers of man-love to the bottle. And a few rounds of "Hide the sausage." Shame.

This study is pointless. There are a metric crap-ton of reasons why people turn to the bottle. Heck, sometimes people do it for no reason at all. Some people simply derive pleasure from dulling their brains to the point of retardation with booze. Their body, their choice. So long as they're responsible with a car after the fact (by not driving one) why does government give one iota why they do it? What business is it of theirs?

Tell me again that government is benevolent. It's like a nursery rhyme.

If men in dresses choose to drown their tranny sorrows with multiple alcoholic beverages, that's not the straight man's fault. Getting FUBAR-ed is nobody's doing but the guy/gal/non-binary genderqueer with the glass in his/her/ze's hand. Besides, it's not like they were in the best frame of mind to begin with.

More on that...

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