Liquify this interview and mainline it into my carotid artery. Jermey Clarkson, the outspoken and hilarious former host of Top Gear, and now host of The Grand Tour on Amazon Prime, sat for an interview with the UK Independent. He was asked a great many things, but notably about how his car show might be bad for the climate "emergency." If you're at all familiar with Clarkson, you'll know the man has no effs to spare. He says whatever thought pops into his mind with zero apologies given, and probably gets a chuckle out of people getting triggered. Let's just say, Clarkson's vestige has a place on my spirit animal totem. Well when the "climate emergency" talk came up, so did Greta Thunberg. Unlike everyone else, Clarkson didn't tip-toe around the mentally unwell Swede. Instead, he cracked his knuckles and started swinging.

Asked about touring the world and if what he saw changed his perception of the "climate emergency" Clarkson said this:

No, we've been aware of climate change for quite some time, and there's that weird Swede running around making all sorts of ‘we're going to die’ noises, so we're all aware of it. But rather than having her jumping up and down and waving her arms in the air, you can actually go there and say, ‘Bloody hell, fire! Look at what this climate change has done to this place.’

We simply said, ‘Here's an example of it.’ What do you want me to do now? Get on my carbon fibre yacht and go and shout at Donald Trump?

Yes, that's exactly what Clarkson should've done. Yelling at Donald Trump solves everything. It's the solution to a real life stress ball.

The interviewer, who was probably stunned that anyone would insult the beatific Greta, especially a 60-year-old white dude with privilege, gave Clarkson a chance to clarify his thoughts on the Swedish biscuit.

She's a stupid idiot.

Not just stupid. Not just an idiot. A stupid idiot.

The interviewer wasn't giving up hope that Clarkson might just be having a go.

Your daughter Emily is a vocal supporter of Thunberg, could she make you soften your views on the 16-year-old at all?

No. We're never going to agree. She thinks that Greta Thunberg is this deity put on Earth. She's Jesus, basically. Jesus-esque. Whereas I think she's a weird Swede with a bad temper. Nothing will be achieved by sailing across the ocean in a diesel-powered yacht, and then lying about the diesel engine.

And did you see she went to Chile for the climate conference which was then moved to Madrid? I literally s*** myself laughing. She’s an idiot because scientists will solve this, and nobody is going to solve it by running around and going on strike and not going to school, because then you're not in your science lessons, so she's a fool. I know you lot don't think she is, which is fine.

If anything is going to top this interview this week, I doubt it. The only thing better is if a truck full of Sees Candy befell me so I could wish chocolate had all the caloric density of celery as I ate my way to a diabetic coma. If you're considering hopping over to read the full interview, yes. Do it. Do it now. Because there's also this:

Another criticism that is leveled at the show is that it encourages toxic masculinity.

It's just a TV show. It's not The Bible.

Jeremy Clarkson: cultural god among twits. If he and Ricky Gervais had a special, I'd herniate a disk rushing to watch it.

Further, Greta Thunberg is a stupid idiot. Whether or not that's her fault or the fault of her parents, the result is still that we've been forced to deal with a stupid idiot Swede running around crying that the sky is falling. I know it's bad taste to mock someone with mental problems, but she has made herself available in the public arena of ideas. Sorry, criticism is fair game. Including insulting her and her pomposity.

For more: Global Warming Zealots Create Mural of Greta Thunberg in San Francisco.

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