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ComedyJuly 25, 2022
Comedian Offers Class on Crushing the Stock Market Like Paul Pelosi... By Marrying Nancy 'Fun Bags' Pelosi
When Paul Pelosi isn't getting sauced and crashing his Porsche (a joke about a porcupine comes to mind), he's crushing the stock market. During the pandemic, while everyone was hashtag all in this together, he outperformed the S&P by over 14%. If you, too, would like to make millions trading stocks, comedian Ryan Long is offering a Masterclass in how you can. It's simple, really. Step one is to marry Nancy Pelosi. Step two is... There is no step two.
Get Rich Like Nancy Pelosi's Husband pic.twitter.com/GOXZrN0qeb
— Ryan Long (@ryanlongcomedy) July 25, 2022
Side note: While we tweeted about it, we never wrote here on the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website about the beach photo Long mentions in his Masterclass. If we let you down by not doing so, trust me when I say we're more disappointed in ourselves.
Long's technique seems foolproof. At least, until Josh Hawley gets his bill passed banning "insider trading" if you're a member of Congress. I thought this was America, but whatever dude.
Pelosi can't be touched. As Yahoo reports, he loaded up on Tesla in January. President Biden signed a bunch of executive orders shortly after that aimed at electric vehicles and green energy. What luck!
The Hill reports, Pelosi "exercised options to purchase 25,000 Microsoft shares worth more than $5 million." Two weeks later? The US army disclosed a $20 billion deal with the company. BOO-YAH!
Even recently, Marketwatch reports the financial wizard bought as much as $5 million in shares of software and computer-chip company Nvidia. Guess what the Senate is doing this week? Discussing a boost to semiconductor manufacturing in the country. Paul Pelosi remains undefeated.
As of right now, there are 224 potential Democrat targets in Congress for you to romance and start your own career as an elite trader. You could go for a Republican member of Congress if you wanted to, but as long teaches in this Masterclass, the media is more likely to look the other way if it's a Democrat.
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