Yes, this comes from Slate. Yes, obviously it's stupid. Yes, it's indicative of a culture that seems limited (for now) to the silliest corners of the Internet. Yes, this story does give credence to the notion maybe we need to EMP the entire thing and start over. God flooded the earth, maybe we need to unplug the net for just a bit. Meet "Radical." She's your straight-hating heterosexual woman who loves dick but not guys who like to use them with ladies. She wrote into Slate's version of "Dear Abby" but for disturbed leftists (my opinion), starting with this:

I’m a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle: I’m really repelled by heterosexuality politically and personally, but I’m also really into dick.

Wooo, boy, we're using a lot of words rather loosely aren't we, Dorothy? "Classic" and "sex pickle" then followed by "heterosexuality politically and personally." Allow me to take an enema to this packed shit.

I am also a woman — I won't use "cis" to distinguish myself from trans, thank you — who is heterosexual. I am also a millennial. Not once in my female millennial-ness have I ever referred to heterosexuality as a political anything. Men who like women and women who like men are heterosexuals not for political reasons but for evolutionary reasons. As in men need to like women and women need to like men so we get it on for the propagation of the species. See also the rest of nature which reproduces sexually. The institutions we've made around this process, namely marriage, still aren't political. If they are seen as political, who made them that way? People who refer to heterosexuality as somehow being political, that's who. Let's also classify them as insane.

"Radical" here wants to date men who aren't straight by patronizing online-dating sites for gay and bisexual men, like Grindr. That's her solution to this. A solution which required "How To Do It" to opine for four long paragraphs, though the gist can be limited to this one sentence:

Don’t try to make something that has been designed to be not about you about you.

Further translated: stay in your lane, crazy. Don't be bothering TEH GAYZ with your hangups.

A sentiment which applies to much of liberalism: this isn't about you, go away. We could apply it to being a woman to men, being a man to women, being married to people who shouldn't be married, welfare benefits to the able but somehow constantly unemployed, et cetera.

I would've told her just to not date and get a potted house plant. But different strokes.

You may well be wondering why I'm bothering you with the freakish weird of one internet crazy person who's single-handedly re-writing the rules for "Ten signs you may be r*tarded." The same reason I brought you the tale of Stevie the polyamorous lesbian who wouldn't stop saying the word "polyamorous," and the two first cousins who are married and expecting a baby. Today's fringe cuckoo is tomorrow's mainstream liberalism.

At some point, and maybe it's now, being straight will no longer be tolerated. Yeah, it sounds insane. Yeah, it doesn't sound possible. But we also have people losing their livelihoods for saying men are men and not women. So you tell me I'm out of line for saying there is no line.

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