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crimeMay 18, 2022
Police Seek Help in Identifying 'Poopertrator' Who Dropped Deuce, Damaged Store Merch (It's Not Amber Heard)
It may not feel that way all the time, but even in 2022, after all the "defund the police" rhetoric coming from liberals, the people and the po-po can still work together to protect the community. That's what happened in Wichita, where there was a mad pooper on the loose (though, no word if the poop was loose). Wichita Police took to Facebook to ask for help in identifying the poopetrator.
And it worked! Authorities now know the identity of this fecal felon.
I know some of you are wondering. The Wichita Police have already ruled out one person.
Here's what happened. On May 8, Poopetrator McGee walked into a beauty supply store, where she allegedly defecated in the center of the aisle. The bowel movement was sizable enough that it damaged eight wigs. The store wants to be able to pursue criminal charges for the damaged merchandise.
Some details are still unclear. We don't know if the photos obtained by the Wichita Police were taken pre-poop or post poop.
Also, McGee's motive is unknown. At first, one would think this was a dookie done out of spite. Perhaps Poopetrator felt she had received sh*tty customer service and was clapping back.
The other option it's nothing more than a simple accident. Poopetrator McGee couldn't make it to the bathroom. She had a big lunch at Taco Tico, and it hit her faster than usual. After the accidental fecal discharge, McGee snuck out in embarrassment.
I hope the Wichita Police follow up with any further details. We will follow and report back on the Louder with Crowder Dot Com website.
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