Damned if I know anything else happened in the world today other than a bunch of girls getting into a fight by the sh*tters at a Morgan Wallen concert. To be honest? It's the Friday before a three-day weekend and I've gotten into the bourbon, so I'm not sure I care. DeSantis fans and Trump marks will still be beefin' on Tuesday. People are enamored by this fight and to quote the philosopher Excalibur, you GOT to give the people what they want.

Especially since the blonde number who dragged two broads out of a port-a-potty by their hair is sharing HER side of the story.

The internet is enamored by this "blonde assassin."

Her name is Dalanie DiSabato, a 21-year-old nursing student. She was in another stall when things first popped off. The woman in the black top with the white sweater who was being ganged up on? That was her mom. And the beef was over Dalanie accidentally cutting in front of someone.

"I didn't realize I cut in front of this girl. My mom was standing outside guarding the door because this girl was pissed. I heard this going on. So I just walked out and saw two girls ganging up on my mom. I did what any daughter would have done. I just beat the f*ck out of them."

Shout out to Dave Portnoy too. He broke the story about Tucker Carlson admitting Donald Trump is too old to be president, and he got the important back story to the port-a-potty beatdown. Usually, when we have a piece of content like this go viral on the internet the context is unknown. We all know the context now and are a better America because of it.

"I just had to do what I had to do. My mom was literally being jumped in a port-a-potty."

What's most important is it sounds like Dalanie and her mom were able to stay for the Morgan Wallen concert. I had tried to get tickets, and if after paying a ludicrous amount of money I got tossed because of two girls jumping my mom, I'd be pissed.

><><><><><><

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

Facebook doesn't want you reading this post or any others lately. Their algorithm hides our stories and shenanigans as best it can. The best way to stick it to Zuckerface? Sign up for our DAILY EMAIL BLASTS! They can't stop us from delivering our content straight to your inbox. Yet.