A pathetic number of squawking leftist blobs decided to march from Charlottesville to D.C. Not for the exercise. Not to take a break from their constant zombie-like stares at their smart phone. No, they marched to march against racism. Maybe as a counter-protest-march following the Tiki Torch Parade of Douches in Charlottesville? Hard to say. Problem is, the protesters had more enthusiasm for online trolling than the actual movement of their limbs as a symbol of protest.

https://www.facebook.com/JonSutzDesign/videos/1084397928329263/

That's the saddest thing I've seen since Bambi's mom got shot.

The March to DC from Charlottesville, Va., started with nearly 200 marchers Monday, but by Tuesday morning there were only 35 marchers.

Attrition. It happens to even virtue signaling dufuses.

The overnight rains were enough to keep all but “about 35” from marching Monday morning, the day after the pep talk when police escorted the group from Emancipation Park downtown Sunday.

It gets worse:

Remember how I said they took a break from their phones? I guess I was wrong. They couldn't even march against "white sumpremacy" without checking their Instagram feeds for what their friends ate for breakfast. This is marching against "racism." It's sad. It's wet. It's taken seriously by only those pathetic enough to march in it.

Also, for people who compare themselves to the 60's Civil Rights Movement, whose marchers were actually sprayed with fire hoses, our 2017 Champions of Care sure are afraid to get a little damp.

Except for the *pulls out calculator* 200 original protesters - 35 remaining protesters *puts calculator away* 165 protesters who were totes stopped by the "sleet, snow, hail" from marching. Except it wasn't sleet, snow, or hail but a modest drizzle so as to poof dreary hair into Dolly Parton like magnificence. Or so I'll say for comedic purposes.

At least they still celebrate themselves. Somebody has to. Like the old adage "if a tree falls in the forest and no in is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" so too is a leftist protest. "If leftists aren't there to slap their own hind parts in self-congratulation, is it still so pathetic you want to cry for their mothers?" That's not an exaggeration, it actually happened on CNN yesterday (see CNN Anchors Laud CNN Crew for Helping Harvey Victims in an EMBARRASSING Display of Self-Congratulation…).

 The 10-day march will begin at 9:30am each morning, and “vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free” meals will be provided.

If you weren't already tempted to join the march, they'll provide you with cauliflower and sand for breakfast. WHERE DO I SIGN?

Nothing will ever top this, though:

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