Once upon a time, in a land filled with dust and head coverings, there lived a group of evil men who wanted to massacre Muslims and non-Muslims alike, burning them alive in cages, dancing and cheering all the while. They were called "ISIS." On one dusty night, ISIS decided to infiltrate all of Europe. So they sat around a fire fueled with the bones of their foes and asked "But how do we get there? Surely the European authorities will stop us." And one wise man among them sat back and carressed his fine beard and said, "We shall send them among refugees." At that, ISIS laughed and applauded, and their plan was set. "There will be hashtags! There will be signs!" said one. "There will be chants and rhymes!" said another.

So it was. ISIS prayed on the bleeding hearts and dead minds of liberalism, including hashtags and sad photos of a drowned child on a beach, who wasn't fleeing his country with his family so much as he was going to the dentist. My grandma, what sharp teeth you have...

Lo and behold, ISIS is scatter shot among the poor, put-upon refugees, most of whom are military-aged men. But you're not supposed to notice that. You're supposed to remember the drowned child who was looking to get a sugar-free lollipop post dental work.

Now an ISIS agent is in Calais, an outpost in France on the English Channel. He's hiding among the refugees and he's plotting a terrorist attack in the UK. My grandma, what big eyes you have...

Details of the 'Lone Wolf' extremist, who is said to be sleeping rough in Calais, were published in France's La Voix du Nord newspaper this morning. La Voix du Nord's report read: "An Islamic State combatant believed to be in Calais is being actively hunted by the authorities. He left Syria at the end of August and hopes to reach Britain where he intends to commit terrorist acts ... He is the subject of most wanted person notice and is considered a threat to state security."

...The better to see you with, dear, so that I may blow you up...

This is not a lone wolf in sheep's clothing, this is one wolf in a pack, masquerading as refugees, cloaked and protected by liberal sympathy, and the pack of wolves will get innocent Europeans killed in the worst ways imaginable. All under the ruse of sympathy.

The news comes amid claims ISIS are using Europe's refugee crisis to smuggle thousands of terrorists into Europe. An ISIS operative claims 4,000 gunmen have already been smuggled into Europe.

Put that into your basket as you traverse Europe on the way to Grandma's house.

But hey, at least there was a hashtag and people felt good about themselves for a minute. Before they got blown up.

Written by Courtney Kirchoff