Obvious statement. Leftists are the biggest tender-hearts on this rock. The slightest hint of mockery or criticism directed toward a progressive triggers a category 5 crapstorm of boo hoo butthurt. Think a vegan at Arby's. Or a vegan at the mall. A vegan in a van. A vegan.

Who is the left squabbling with now? Auto show host Richard Hammond:

Former Top Gear host Richard Hammond has been labelled “ridiculous” for suggesting he does not eat ice cream because he is heterosexual.

Gay-rights charities condemned the television presenter for claiming his reason for not eating the frozen dessert was “something to do with being straight” in an episode of The Grand Tour.

...Richard’s co-host Jeremy Clarkson pointed at a photo of a Rolls-Royce and said: “The only problem is that in one of those, you couldn’t enjoy a chocolate Magnum ice cream.”

Richard replied: “It’s all right, I don’t eat ice cream. I think it’s something to do with being straight.”

James May and Jeremy appeared puzzled as the audience clapped and Jeremy asked: “Why are you applauding him? What do you mean? You’re saying all children are homosexual?”

Richard said: “No, but – there’s nothing wrong with it, but a grown man eating an ice cream – it’s a bit – it’s that way, rather than that way.”

Firstly, the only thing Richard Hammond is guilty of is making a lame joke. Who hasn't told a stinker or two in their life? You can't win every time. Just ask Hillary Clinton.

So the joke fell flat. Big dealio. Twenty years ago, that would be it. But welcome to 2016, where a joke will get you fired, killed, killed with fire, and fired with killed. I realize I was sounding childish and ludicrous there. On purpose. Illustrate absurdity by being absurd. Who else wants ice cream? Just me?

Hammond's mistake was mocking one of the left's privileged, protected classes. TEH GAYZ. Imagine the unholy hell Hammond would've experienced had he made a crack about a tranny Muslim. Prepare thy safe spaces.

You can always count on leftists to break out the old nails and cross any time someone breaks with political correctness and makes a funny at their expense. Which is almost hourly, because chunky, non-binary snowflakes are such easy fodder for comedy.

In many instances, the leftists become the comedians themselves. Assuming a leftist's gender is guaranteed to unleash a hilarious rage spiral that will leave people in stitches. Although, you have to watch out. Sometimes the stitches are literal. Because tolerance and compassion.

Leftists, if a silly joke about ice cream is enough to traumatize you, might I suggest locking yourselves underground in a politically correct padded room. Maybe fill it with legos and Play-Doh, just how you like it. But who are we kidding? Even then, lefties would still find something to cry about. The ratio of white lego-men to black lego-men being too high or something. Have some ice cream.

Speaking of political correctness...

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