The great mystery this summer revolved around a bag of cocaine found in the White House. Whose cocaine was it and how did it get there? We'll never know for sure. The Secret Service -- the squad whose job it is to protect the life of the president -- concluded their investigation and said, "Dafuq if we know." Rob Schneider has a suspect in mind.

Schneider, a Biden critic and SNL alum, claims that he knows who brought the cocaine.

"How about the guy who had hookers snort it off his c*ck and put it on a laptop?"

Schneider is referring to Joe Biden's 2nd favorite son Hunter Biden. Beau Biden is his get-out-of-responsibly free son because, I'm not sure if you know this, Beau died. Hunter is the son who moved into the White House this summer and had a known drug problem.

However, it needs to be said that Rob Schneider is claiming WITHOUT EVIDENCE that Hunter Biden had hookers snorting blow off his c*ck. "Independent" "fact" checkers have yet to find proof of hookers snorting blow off of Hunter's c*ck. And even if there was video of Hunter Biden letting hookers snort blow off of his c*ck, it's probably Russian disinformation.

There are videos of Hunter smoking crack that were found on his laptop. At a $75000 DETOX place his dad paid for. Even more embarrassing, he was crushing White Claws too. But crack, while a form of cocaine, is smoked and not snorted.

There are also plenty of videos of Hunter banging whores while bragging that his dad was going to be president. No cocaine in sight though.

Hunter also, allegedly, sent his dad videos of his homemade porn. That has nothing to do with cocaine. I just think it's hilarious.

Until a reliable and legitimate news outlet reports undeniable evidence that Hunter Biden let hookers snort cocaine off of his c*ck, we're forced to rate Schneider's bit as "Mostly false, but probably true."

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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