The "War on Christmas" is more a cable news ratings grabber than anything else. I said "Merry Christmas" to someone at the mall the other day. No one fainted. I didn't get lectured. No one threw a gingerbread spiced latte at me. Not even two lesbians at the local Starbucks. Weird, right?

Then Huffington Post attacks "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" Christmas special. Trigger warning: The video you are about to watch is akin to getting a root canal from an elf dentist. No anesthesia. Rusty tools. The elf got his dentistry license from a liberal arts college. Think less an elf, and more Steve Martin from Little Shop of Horrors.

I swear the left does these things just to get hate clicks from us.

Which I'm happy to oblige.

“Yearly reminder that #Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is a parable on racism & homophobia w/ Santa as a bigoted exploitative prick.”

Here's the really stupid thing. The alleged bigots and homophobes of the special are the "bad guys." The good guys are the ones who say "nuts to what everyone thinks, I'm going to live my best life." To quote modern vernacular, they are silencing the haters in the best way possible. Everyone gets along. An elf dentist is the modern day tranny bodybuilder, or woman who self identifies as a cat. You know, heroes to the left.

If there's something Americans love, leftists come dashing through the snow to ruin it. Like a beloved holiday classic. An old animated film is now, according to them, chock full of bigotry, triggering imagery, and three other social justice buzz words yet to be invented. You can make something up right now. Leftists will jingle bell rock it to death. Making you want to run them over with a reindeer.

Hey, only a few more weeks to use my Christmas song puns. I make no apologies.

At least this is an excuse for us to relive the boss getting waterboarded by a UFC superstar.

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