Remember when video games were just simple fun-time pursuits? It was way back when kids were just boys or girls. Those were the days.

A male feminist complained that Super Mario Run wasn't up to his feminist standards in the New York Times Opinion Pages. Therefore if you play it, you're simply a horrible human being who hates women. At least that's what I'd assume, based on how tolerant leftists react to that which they find displeasing  (see Liberals Attack Chris Pratt for Sexism in ‘Passengers' and Lena Dunham: ‘Women Who Voted Trump Hate Themselves…’). This particular jumble of liberal word shart stands out for its brazen stupidity. So what has feminist diapers all in a twist? Apparently Super Mario Run isn't for families.

Why? Because apparently rescuing a princess is sexist...

Unfortunately, despite Nintendo’s history and reputation, Super Mario Run is not a family-friendly game — or at least not one my wife and I will be letting our 6-year-old daughter play. The game is rife with stale, retrograde gender stereotypes — elements that were perhaps expected in 1985, when the first Super Mario Bros was released in the United States, but that today are just embarrassing.

Actually what's more embarrassing is this man worrying about his six-year-old daughter picking up life lessons from a video game. How about parenting? Ideas. Just ideas.

Super Mario Run begins, as does almost every Super Mario title, with Princess Peach becoming a hostage who must be rescued by Mario. Just before her ritual kidnapping, Peach invites Mario to her castle and pledges to bake him a cake. Upon her rescue, she kisses Mario. The game also includes a second female character, Toadette, whose job is to wave a flag before and after a race, like a character from “Grease.”

And Mario is forced to wear overalls as he runs and jumps to try to rescue the princess. Can you imagine the chafing? Is there vaseline in the world of Super Mario? One can only hope. Can you also imagine how hot it must be to do all that running and jumping while sporting a giant black mustache? Shouldn't Mario be able to shave it off? Can't he also change into shorts or some capris? For the air flow? I think it's really sexist that Mario is forced to conform to a gender and job stereotype of a male Italian plumber. Who will stand up for Mario?

By failing to update Super Mario for a contemporary audience, Nintendo is lagging far behind the Walt Disney Co., one of its closest American analogues. Disney’s film “Frozen” subverted and reinvigorated the fairy-tale princess movie; “The Force Awakens” gave us a female Jedi. Super Mario Run doesn’t even try.

So then don't buy Super Mario. Maybe take your daughter outside to play.

To be fair, the Princess character in Super Mario Brothers 2 was badass. She could fly! That said if you want to instill feminist principles in a six-year-old, maybe teach her the difference between reality and a video game. Mayhaps, raise her not to define her own self-worth based on Nintendo. Maybe leave games to just be games and try not to suck all the fun out of life by berating the rest of the gaming world with your leftist tripe over animations which play out on a screen.

These parents must be real peaches at dinner parties. See what I did there?

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