In America, some men celebrate manliness by spending Sundays on the couch watching football. At least, they used to. But if you're Muslim, you show dedication to your religion by slicing into the flesh of your children while being cheered by tens of thousands of other men (see Meet ‘Ashura’: The Islamic Holiday That Calls for Mass Self-Inflicted Violence and TOLERANCE: Saudi Arabia Deports 27 People For Being Christian…).

I like the American version better. Welcome to Ashura, it sucks:

Hundreds of thousands of Shiite Muslims commemorated the seventh-century killing of Mohammed's grandson by cutting themselves and children with swords and blades swinging from chains.

Pilgrims cut themselves with swords as they weep and beat their chests in mourning during the annual Ashura ceremonies.

Believers seek to emulate Hussein's suffering by flagellating themselves with chains or cutting their foreheads to let blood run down their bodies.

We are Islamic men, hear us roar. Also, we are deranged religious extremists who cut our children for the hype of it. Remember, we're the "Peaceful religion." Ignore this flagrant child abuse and commend us for our dedication! Then slam the Christian who won't make a gay wedding cake!

Tell me again about "all religions are the same." It's such a cute story.

If you don't know much about Muslims, and why the two sects of Islam fight so much, this monumental occasion commemorating a beheading is one of the reasons. Take a gander:

Hussein's beheading split Islam into the two main sects - Sunnis and Shias.

Shias supported Ali, son-in-law of the Prophet Mohammed, as Islam's fourth ruler.

The schism occurred when Imam Ali did not become leader of the Islamic community after Mohammed's death.

After Ali was murdered in AD 661, his chief opponent, Caliph Muawiya, leader.

He was succeeded by his son Yazid, but Ali's son, Hussein, fought him over claims he was an illegitimate ruler.

This led to Hussein and his followers being massacred in battle at Karbala.

This created a cult of martyrdom representing a struggle against tyranny.

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