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#SJW Feminists Attack! Disney Bans Famous Sexy Princess Leia Costume
Feminists have gone too far this time. They want to control how artists draw Princess Leia. Yes, the fictional character. The woman who helped bring down the evil Empire. The fictional woman who was so fashion forward, she had buns on the SIDE of her head, not behind her head. The fictional woman who sassed Darth Vader right to his face. The fictional woman who single-handedly kept Johnson & Johnson in business for the better part of a decade thanks to fantasizing nerds everywhere. The fictional woman who one time kissed her brother because she didn't know he was her brother. Oh, sorry, "spoiler alert."
And Disney of course is being Disney and "family-friendly" and "pro-feminist" is caving to the faux outrage pressure:
The report comes from the site Making Star Wars, which regularly leaks insider info on the latest Star Wars developments. Editor-in-chief Jason Ward said that while he'd heard rumors a while back that Disney would be pulling the feminist-infuriating "Slave Leia" figure, he didn't think the story had legs. But a recent Facebook post from Star Wars comic artist J. Scott Campbell seemed to confirm that Disney was going to be heeding feminists' call, saying that Marvel artists are now forbidden not just to feature Leia in the costume but to even depict her in "a sexy pose.""Disney is already well on its way to wiping out the 'slave' outfit from any future products period," wrote Campbell. "You will NOT see an[y] future merchandising featuring the slave outfit again. Trust me. ... I've heard it from two sources. We can't even draw Leia in a sexy pose at Marvel, let alone in that outfit! We also had a 3-D SL [Slave Leia] statue killed at a major manufacturer because there will no longer be any SL merchandise."
Next, they're going digitally remove any time she had to be saved by cis-male oppressors, because patriarchy. Even though, spoiler alert, she killed a baddie while wearing the gold bikini. Without help from the male oppressors. That scene sold a lot of tissues.
And forget her relationship with Han Solo, half of which was triggering at best. Of course the other half was her telling him he was a "scruffy looking nerf herder,"and telling him he was a worthless piece of bantha fodder. What a mouth!
Thank God George Lucas has no control over his movies any more, because digitally shattering ruining altering them was kind of his thing.
But none of this is going to stop the SJW feminists from crying sexism because Princess Leia once rocked a gold bikini and still managed to be a hero. Can we admit what the real problem is here? Leia looked hot. The men fantasized about how hot she looked. Men folk still fantasize about how sexy Princess Leia is in that gold bikini, and feminists cannot stand that men would fantasize about a smoking hot, sexy woman in a gold bikini.
Replace Carrie Fischer with Lena Dunham (or current Carrie Fischer) and ugly SJW feminists everywhere would rejoice. Because she'd be just like them. There, I said it. The attack on Princess Leia in a sexy pose is just an attack on men who like to look at sexy women...and on women who can pull it off...
-Written mostly by Courtney Kirchoff (a Star Wars fan), occasional gross boy jokes courtesy of Steven Crowder