Guilty? Grab a Snickers. Because you might find yourself getting raped in prison for being a child molesting scumbag if you don't. Also, it helps if your candy bar is laced with rat poison. That was one man's calculation when he scarfed down a snack as a jury declared him guilty of being a child sex offender.

The judge in the case said, "A jury of your peers has found you guilty of... dude, what are you doing?"

The dramatic situation unfolded in Australia, where a local reporter witnessed everything. The 70sish-year-old man -- name withheld for Australian legal reasons -- was on trial for raping his partner's young daughter. Prosecutors alleged that over a nine-year period, he abused the girl when she was between four and fourteen years old.

As the guilty verdict was being read, the man produced a Snickers bar. The judge ordered him to stop eating when the man informed the courtroom his treat was laced with rat poison. Later on that day, as he was put back in jail, the rat poison kicked in and he collapsed.

Unfortunately for the man, but fortunately for justice, it was not enough rat poison to kill him. The now guilty pedo was returned to his jail cell.

The man awaits a September 11th hearing to find out his sentence. Sexually abusing a minor over a nine-year period, one would think (and hope) would lead to a lengthy prison sentence. Here's to hoping the pedo finds himself some new friends who want to poison him with their Snickers bar.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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