Dear people who whine about "the opposite sex doesn't find me attractive, ergo they're shallow hate mongers!"

Attraction isn't about fairness. It never has been, it never will be. Sorry if the people you fancy are as attracted to you as hemorrhoids. But you don't have a right for people to like you. Or find you attractive. I wish this was an issue limited only to the fat pride, leftist feminists. Alas. There are angry losers on both sides of the political spectrum, both sides of the sex lines, who bitch, whine and moan about "He doesn't like fat people, ergo he's a shallow wanker" or "She only likes fit, rich men, ergo she's a shallow gold-digger."

Needs to stop. Immediately.

Earlier we posted a stellar video from Bill Burr, wherein Bill Burr tells a podcast listener: "Don't apologize for not wanting to date fatties." The more I listened, the more I pumped my fists in agreement. Had I put some dumbbells in both hands, I could've gotten my presses out of the way. Wasted opportunity. I disagreed with Burr on one point: the assumption only ladies create double dating standards. Nope.

With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. As feminism has raised itself to screechier sound levels, breaking glass and the will to live, so too have some segments of the male population. Pounding their hairy fists in apish fashion, crying about women liking fit men with jobs. The harlots.

So let's make this simple.

Men, if you like ladies who look like this:

Don't get triggered when women like men who look like this:

Ladies, if you like men who do things like this:

Don't get triggered when men like ladies who do things like this:

If you're someone who engages in this:

You can probably expect a spouse who does this:

Allow me to reiterate this point with words:

Guys, if you want an attractive wife who cares for you, your house and your children, she's going to expect a husband with a stable job or career who uses the gym more than his beer subscription.

Ladies, if you want an investment banker husband who attends weight-lifting competitions, he's going to expect a part-time pilates instructor wife who knows how to make more than just a casserole. Or order from the takeout menu.

If you want gender roles to work in your favor, you gotta give as much as you demand. If you want an attractive partner, assume your partner wants the same. If you want to be cared for, assume the person caring for you gets a little support their way. Marriage is, as they say, give and take. Emphasis on the give and the take. Not all the give. Not all the take. People tend to date and marry their equals in some form or another. I'm sure you've noticed by now. If not, let this be your wake-up call.

The poor bloke with the "heart of gold" tends to get the super hot model girl in fictional stories written largely by men. Plain, awkward girls tend to find themselves in sexy love triangles with two McHotties in stories written largely by women. They're fantasies for a reason. Enjoy them if you'd like, but don't rage at the opposite sex if reality dictates different mating rules.

Because sorry, for every screeching Lena Dunham complaining about men's unrealistic beauty standards, there's a beta male wimp excusing his creep factor because he's not a handsome billionaire. For every hairy feminist shrew crowing about shallow men liking boobs and butts, there's a limp-wristed pajama boy crying about shallow women not liking his triple rolled gut.

We all tend to find hot people attractive. But hot people aren't required to find your blue armpit hair desirable. Nor are they required to find your 16 hour a day video game playing a trait worthy to pass on to offspring. Hey, it's a free country. You gotta do you, boo. Don't go crying on Twitter if others don't want to do you.

As Bill Burr says in his podcast, maybe it's time to stop apologizing for what we find attractive in the opposite sex.

What people find attractive in each other, on a person-by-person basis, varies as widely as the population does. But all this whining about "I can't believe you don't find ____ segment of the population attractive, you're a horrible person" has to stop. Some people like to date heavier individuals. Some people like to date ripped gym rats. Some people like to date skinny people. Others only date the average. Note I'm not saying "men" or "women" here. Both sexes date different types of people, depending on who they are. This isn't rocket science.

So maybe let's stop shaming each other for what we like in the opposite sex, yeah? Guys and gals, you with me?

~Written by Courtney Kirchoff