American leftists brought their performative slacktivism to the Sebonack Golf Club out in the Hamptons. It's rumored to have a $1 million initiation fee just to join. What follows is every other leftist protest you've seen. There's interpretive dance. Someone banging a drum. A girl dressed as a shark for... I don't know, reasons. And someone brought a pitchfork.

And then they all took out their iPhones to call an Uber to take them back to their mother's house. Not before stopping by Starbucks first.

They don't just embarrass themselves and their families for generations to come. They also embarrass America. Are they useless sacks of soy? No doubt. But they're 'Merican useless sacks of the soy so you still want to see them kick ass as the best useless sacks of soy. Compared to their UK counterparts, I don't believe any of them are committed or all that concerned about the schlimate this week.

UK activists have a clear message.

UK protesters don't go to hoity-toity areas. They are out in the streets with the people. And inconveniencing the people because they're THAT serious. They aren't just interested in sacrificing their dignity.

They will sacrifice priceless works of art.

There is no pain threshold for UK slacktivists. They can get dragged across the street and go right back to stop people from going to work. Since none of them have jobs of their own.

And I'm sorry, American slacktivists. If you aren't willing to risk having an appendage chopped off, you simply are not serious enough about the schlimate.

European slackvists have the lady balls (even the guys) to risk life and limb to save the planet. All America gets are spoiled, rich kids. It wouldn't surprise me if these weirdos' parents were playing golf at the time. The kids were all sitting in the rec room and got bored, so they decided to play protestor.

Do better, America.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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