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CultureMay 19, 2023
WHAT? Little man owns the internet, nails perfect Stone Cold Steve Austin impersonation on the last day of school
A palate cleanser after another political/cultural week of "everything sucks," "everything is terrible," and "dear God, someone do something." Because there are few things in America more pure than a kid's excitement on the last day of school. Whatever you do this weekend, have this youngblood's energy while doing so.
Meet Ro. He KNOWS a lot about wrestling. And the clip you've seen on Twitter is edited because it cuts out the only thing that could make this video truly the greatest of all time... Alice Cooper's "Schools Out."
School’s out! It’s over baby! It’s over! First grade is in the books, and that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so. Somebody give me a hell yeah!”
Here is your "hell yeah" as requested...
Oh Hell Yeah!!! https://t.co/GEvZJUO60c
— Steve Austin (@steveaustinBSR) May 18, 2023
Question: how much planning went into this? There had to be some because Ro's mama was at the ready with the camera. Did they rent a school bus just for the content? Or did they do this guerilla style? Ro got an extra five bucks to get two milks for the ride home and had a script. Or did Ro know his mom was the mom who films everything and planned this all by himself? Whatever pre-production went into this, it's fudging awesome.
My niece's last day of first grade is next month. Anything she does is going to pale in comparison. Maybe I can get her to give someone a Stone Cold Stunner. After I let her watch Roman Reigns vs Logan Paul, she immediately started beating the crap out of her little brother. She has the bug.
What I want for Ro's last day of SECOND grade is a "cinematic match" version of this. A take on the last day of school from Dazed & Confused when the older kids chased the young kids around all summer with paddles. Only as soon as the younger kid is about to get his paddling, you hear the broken glass. Ro appears. He's moved on from milk to PRIME. He shotguns two of them, kicks the older kid in the gut, and drops the stunner on him.
Now THAT would be 11/10 content.
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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