Sweden has been inundated with male refugees of a rapey nature (see Mark Steyn: 'Sweden's Male-Female Ratio now worse than China's.' Guess Why...). So it should come as no surprise there have been more than a few sexual attacks since they moved in. We say "a few" but mean "several thousand." I know, it's as "surprising" as Amy Schumer ending up in a plus size ad. Contain your shock (and upchuck reflex).

How is Sweden combating the rape pandemic? They're arresting every migrant and giving them the Swedish heave-ho. Nah, just kidding, they're handing out bracelets. As in the accessory that wraps around your wrist. Do they shoot out pepper spray? Are they something out of a James Bond movie? Don't be silly. They're just ordinary bracelets. One thing sets them apart though...

In the aftermath of last year's asylum-related sexual attacks at the "We Are Stockholm" youth festival, the Swedish police are now launching a new campaign. Police officers equipped with bracelets with the text "Do not molest me" will be sent to the streets of Stockholm. The bracelets will be given out during the summer festivals in the Swedish capital, and also in connection to other major events frequented by young people.

Look, Sweden, we know you had good intentions. There are some things you can get right. Like the Ikea Bekant standing desk. So kudos for that. You did, at least, "try." However, unlike the Bekant standing desk, the bracelets serve no utility. They accomplish as much as Lena Dunham does for people afflicted with anorexia. Sure, clearly legitimate police practices is not your forte. Methinks someone just needed an excuse to pursue their lifelong dream of accessory-making. If only they'd bedazzled it a little bit. Add a shiny factor. Also, can we buy them on Etsy?

But seriously... Bracelets? To combat rape? What are bracelets going to do? Especially when many Syrian refugees don't even speak the same language as the Swedes. Still, I don't imagine many rapists are going to stop to read the message before they get to raping, then tell their friends, "WAIT. You guys, she has a 'do not molest me' bracelet. So plan's off. Let's go to Ikea for the meatballs.'" Even fewer would be warded off by the bracelet. They don't stop when the girl says "don't molest me," so I doubt they'd stop when a rubber band says it. Especially ones without gemstones. But that's just the opinion of one non-Swedish-police person.

You can't help but sympathize with the Swedes. They're the rape capital of the west, meanwhile this is their best plan. Not guns, not pepper spray, not even a rape whistle... But bracelets. At least they're thinking fashion-forward.

Also, ladies? Maybe you don't go to Sweden for your next vacation. Just putting that out there. Because yes, rape is a problem in Islam. Not just in Sweden.

NOT SUBSCRIBED TO THE PODCAST? FIX THAT! IT’S COMPLETELY FREE ON BOTH ITUNES HERE AND SOUNDCLOUD HERE.