Who knew there was a professional paintball team? My entire life has been such a waste. Not only can you play professional paintball, you can represent your country while doing so. But what you're not allowed, as it turns out, is jump on TikTok to "fat-shame" a teen. Notice the scare quotes. Player Jessica Maiolo has since deleted the video, but not fast enough. Other Tikers or maybe they're called Tockers, responded to Jessica with a little flavor of their own. They're allowed to do that, it's how free speech works. I'm just letting you know so I can drop one such video here.

We're playing a little fast and loose with the terms "fat-shaming" and "COVID misinformation" yeah? While I'm not running to Jessica Maiolo's defense here (she published an apology on her Instagram account), I think we're getting a bit ahead of ourselves when trying to ruin a woman's life because she suggested a portly fellow might be better served by expending a bit more energy in lieu of an experimental shot. Sure, she got to the point quicker and crasser than I did, but her point is the same.

Further, what gives Savannah (the responding Tiker Tocker) the authority to spread information about COVID but not Jessica Maiolo? It's rhetorical. I know you're allowed to accuse others of spreading COVID misinformation if and only if you agree with the consensus of government lackeys.

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't getting a vaccine after contracting the disease rather like closing the barn door after the horse ate all the hay? Or am I not allowed to question the holiness of those beatified saints who opt to take the poke?

Team USA Paintballing, which I still cannot believe is an actual thing because I clearly took the wrong career path, fired Jessica Maiolo. I'd wonder if Savannah and the other TikerToks were pleased with themselves, but there are only so many rhetorical questions one can ask without sounding like a moron.

If you're on and represent a team, there's something to be said with having to toe a certain line. I guess. I'd note that the lines are never the same, ever-moving and a bit blurry. See also Colin Kapernick and Megan Rapinoe then also see Drew Brees. But still. If Team USA Paintballing has a policy against offering fitness advice to someone in the hospital, far be it from me to question it. I'm not sure I'd call it fat-shaming. If the left is allowed to make up terms, why can't we? Maybe "Fitness-Encouraging" is a better phrase. She sounded like a trainer to me. "Get the hell up and kick some ass" is the general demeanor of someone you'd want getting you in shape. I'd also note Jessica directed her comment to the mama of the patient. Not that it matters to bored trolls who'll undoubtedly call me a terrible person. *waves*

Cancel culture took another scalp. Should Jessica have known better? Maybe. Was it really that bad what she said? Meh. How many people actually watch Paintball AND her TikTok? I'm just asking.

If I might offer my own suggestion: everyone getting all hurty over Jessica Maiolo's now deleted TikTok should get on fucking treadmills themselves. I usually encourage people to go outside, find a hill, and run up and down it until tired, but I wanted to stick with the general theme of treadmills.

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