The deity or deities of content have smiled down upon us this day.

Even more ridiculous than unhinged leftists vandalizing Teslas over lies Democrats and the media (but I repeat myself) told them about Elon Musk is that some of them STILL don't realize that Cousin Elon's cars film everything around them. You are instantaneously caught on film. The more you stand out, the easier it is for local authorities to catch you.

Like, say, and this is me just spitballing off the top of my head, if you are 5'2" and weigh FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS.

And you need a motorized go-kart to get around.

Check out my dude here. I advise you not to be drinking while you do. I was, and the coffee that squirt out of my nose didn't feel pleasant.

Meet 33-year-old Demarqeyun Marquize Cox. He is now the guest at a Texas correctional facility, as this was one Tesla as part of a hit and run spree Tons o' Fun went on.

“Based on what they had seen in the video they knew for a fact that he was the one who at least hit the initial Tesla,” Texarkana Police Public Information Officer Shawn Vaughn told the outlet.

Cox has only been charged with damaging the first car but officials said the investigation is ongoing and there may be more charges filed later.

He is being held at the Bi-State Justice Center on a $105,000 bond, according to jail records viewed by The Post.

My favorite part of the story? He is in the parking lot of a Chinese buffet. Because when you are a morbidly obese short king, where else would you be in the afternoon?

This is hands down the best Tesla video yet. Not for the woman who needs to get her door fixed, obviously. It sucks for her. I mean from a content standpoint. It's an unhinged fat man driving his mobility vehicle into a car and thinking he can get away. If there is a more hilarious "leftists triggered by an inanimate object" video out there, I defy you to find it.

Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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