If it's the duty of law enforcement to "protect and serve" then perhaps Broward County should think up a new slogan. Maybe "Duck and Cover." Run and Hide. My favorite: "Waiting for the gunfire to stop so it's safe for us to enter." Law enforcement officials from around the country are taking their turns to bitchslap Sheriff Israel. First Michelle Cook in Florida, now the Denton County Sheriff, Tracy Murphree in Texas.

First, video:

"My first advice to him would be to shut up."

I'm not an expert psychologist like Jordan B. Peterson, but I don't think it takes an expert to recognize a sissy-la-la-bed-wetter like Sheriff Isreal. Instead of recognizing the failures of his department, all Sheriff Israel has done is cover his ass with plastic wrap. If that provides a troubling mental image for you, I'm kind of sorry.

But wait, if you enjoyed the above video, you'll love this awesome statement:

Aside from the double-spacing between sentences, this statement is better than buttercream cake infused with bacon. Sheriff Murphree is leaving no doubt where his department stands when it comes to protecting students from trigger-happy mama's boys.

"Built on Integrity" is a good tagline for Texas. "Built on Cowardice" is a good line for Broward County. I'm feeling the tagline spirit move me, so lemme add a few more for Sheriff Israel.

• "You're scared, we're scared."
• "We hide from loud noises."
• "Shots fired? Oh noes!"
• "Children are the future? Nah."
• "Call the Spanish Inquisition. No one expects them!"
• "Fallen and can't get up? Blame the NRA."

What do you think Broward should write on its bullet-shields "patrol" cars? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

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