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CultureDecember 20, 2021
Thief Tries Stealing 87-Year-Old Woman’s Purse, Winds Up Eating Parking Lot Thanks to Good Samaritan
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Crime is on the rise and has been throughout 2021. Our stories about it tend to end with the bad guy getting away with it. This story ends with a low-life who tried to steal an 87-year-old woman's purse eating a mouthful of parking lot.
Kroger customer tackles suspect who allegedly stole 87-year-old woman's purseyoutu.be
Our players here are Pat Goins (the woman), Deshawn Pressley (the hero), and Scumbag Jones (the scumbag). Pat Goins was doing her grocery shopping, no doubt buying ingredients to make cookies and gingerbread houses for her neighbors and the church. You know, like all sweet old ladies do. Scumbag Jones saw the 87-year-old alone, and in a moment of scumbaggery, stole Goins's purse. Goins screamed loud enough for Deshawn to hear. Deshawn saw Goins scream and Jones running with a purse, put two and two together, and chased after Jones.
This is where Pressley caught up with Jones and body-slammed him to the pavement with such ease it should earn Deshawn a spot in the WWE's new NIL program. Cops took Scumbag Jones away, where they will hopefully tell his cellmates that he tried to assault an old woman. As Jones was being hauled off, Pat Goins got the last word. She isn't mad at Scumbag Jones. She's just really disappointed in him.
“I think I was a little hurt that he would do that. I pointed at him and said, ‘If you needed something, all you had to do was ask.'”
We need more people like DeShawn Pressley. We don't have nearly enough stories about good people taking action when they see villainy afoot.
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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn't writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.
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